Alone

Most people prefer to be alone I haven't had in person friends since last year. All the people online don't really care about you and are toxic, just want to take advantage of you, think they can treat you however they please, expecting you not to leave. well they'd be wrong if they met me. I'd rather keep having no friends and be alone in my thoughts than have someone treat me worse than I treat myself. Being alone will always be worse than anything I've experienced because a year by yourself in your own thoughts for most of the time makes you go crazy. I don't feel real anymore I don't feel anything when i'm alone I struggle to cry. I wish I was the same 14-15 year old boy who had nerdy interests with friends.. not worried about being alone. Before last year I used to think I know what it meant.. but I'd be wrong. Being alone isn't some quirky thing.. it tears you apart until you struggle to even know who you are, quiet and lost.. not thinking properly.. just alone.

- from ecstasy