Solitude doesn't always bring peace

This is the new routine. 

I'm awake all night due to an inability to quiet my mind and lay in bed. Plagued by so many questions, worries and fears. Pain flare ups due to the change in the air pressure and weather. ( Living in the south is a bless and a curse all in one. ) 

Life has given me so many wonderful experiences, and introduced some kind people into my life. I am thankful for everything I've been given. I want to begin with that, because I know there will be at least someone that says: "You should be thankful, most people don't have even one friend.." 

I am. 

Even more so to the time spent with those no longer in my life. Whether it was due to miscommunication, the friendship/relationships just fizzling out, or someone passing on. I am grateful for the time I was allowed to spend with them. 

But things are heavier now. 

I feel the weight of it all on my shoulders, and I find myself unable to breathe without that pit in the middle of my chest twinging. It's growing more and more each day. I don't know how to deal with it. 

Maybe I need to adjust my meds? Or is this something else? 

I feel empty.