january

I really want this year to go better than last year. I was like a watering pot all throughout 2023 so it's fair to say I don't want that anymore. I don't even know why the so-called new year is the prime time to change bad habits & stuff. Whoever chose to put it in the dead of winter is a shithead (@gregory the 13th) and clearly has no ambitions. I wish it were april first or something, you know, when spring starts and rebirth & all that? It used to be like that but shithead mentioned above changed that for some reason unbeknownst to me.

But I really want this year to go good nonetheless. It's been long overdue for me to start getting off my lazy ass and start actually working towards what I want. But what do I want? There's some vague silhouette of success at the core of my dreams, but what exactly are said dreams? I don't have an innate sense to be famous or have a big impact on the human race. I hear of others who seem to not be able to fathom leaving this earth without doing so. That just seems silly to me. So what if I do want that unassuming life? What job do I take? How will I get satisfaction from life? Some people say I don't have to know yet, but then turn around and ask me what I want to do when I go to college. I can see the disappointment on their faces when I say 'I don't know'. As if they knew what they wanted at my age. Fucking hypocrites.