Wow I guess I am loved!!

To be honest, I’m done with anything that doesn’t bring me closer to my best self.. except for ice cream ofcc😊☺️

I have that junk for breakfast and dinner now to suppress any cannabis cravings. 

When I’ve been in relationships I’ve been very them focused: where I would only think about what they are doing, what they are thinking about in the moment, where they could be heading in their lives. But I realize that left no time for me to focus on me. 

Because to be truly honest, they weren’t focused on me either. They were them focused. 

In these past few weeks I’ve learned that I need more emphasis on myself and my life. Yes, Fuck it I’m selfish. I used to be afraid of that title. Of seeming like I don’t help others when that’s all I do. I was spreading myself too thin to please others. Now I please me :)

Of course people will always try to put down your character. Of course there will always be someone angry at you for anything you do. Whether you help or not people still get pissed. So now I’m unapologetically selfish. I’m taking care of my needs. 

Love isn’t limited. Love is all over the place. And love is definitely conditional. 

I’m surrounded by love. Even if not external, because I’m working very hard on not fully relying on external validation, and external love.. I just have to work on being the best version of myself that I can adore. And I’ve been adoring. Adoring god, and myself.

I know at the end of the day I’ll be ok. It’s been anywhere between three to four weeks since I quit smoking. At the beginning my irritation was through the roof. But eating a lot throughout the day to keep my oral fixation in check and working out.. keeping myself busy has truly helped. I’ve lost 14 lbs and still working on more!!!

Tara for now dear people🙂🙃