depression

hey everybody!!! i know i said i was trying to steer away from the more negative side of my life and talking abt my ex but that’s kinda hard when u see them everyday! so here i am again. i almost added u the other day trin, i typed ur name took and i took a screenshot just to show noah lol, he asked me if i was autistic, not funny. but the worst part was i was completely sober when i did it, so when i got home i got high to forget abt u, and u know how much i hate not being sober, so it was bad. and this weekend i’m not gonna be sober bc of my friends birthday so i might super totally accidentally call u, i’m lying, it’s gonna be my excuse to call u. i hope u wont be busy, bc i miss u. when i told noah that he said i missed the idea of u, and i agreed; but then i also told him i missed u in general. and then ofc u come to my lunch and everyone saw u and asked me abt what happened w us, i made it as vogue as possible, i hate talking abt it, rlly just bc there was nothing i could’ve done to make it work out. i tried my best, and yes ik i could’ve not said some things and said some different things and made different choices but im not perfect trin, u know that and ur not too, but u were to me. and i still think u are. but i also want u to know that jae’s setting me up w sadie. i’m excited, but also super nervous and scared at the same time. i’m scared we won’t click like u and i. but i hope we’re better, i just want to forget abt u. but i don’t think i ever will. it’s 3 in the morning and i’m up writing abt u. wtf is wrong w me. i swore i was over u. i need help. even u said that. and u still left. u failed me. i failed me.