(CW/TW: r@pe) Melanie Martinez is a rapist.

//CW: rape, general douchebaggery

So, for you unfortunate lucky souls who don't know who Melanie Martinez is, she's a musician who rose to fame after appearing on America's Got Talent. She has 3 albums to her name: 2015's Crybaby, 2019's K-12 (pronounced "Kay through twelve"), and 2023's Portals., which I all find shitty, and not in a "So bad it's good" way, like Birdemic: Shock and Terror or Morbius. I'm talking, in an "oh god this is cancer for my ears please kill me" way.

So, you guys may be like "but Isaac, just because you don't like someone's music doesn't mean you can besmirch them by calling them a rapist, they're probably a good person."

well, I can tell you without a shadow of the doubt that Melanie Martinez is, in fact, a rapist.

for those who don't know, in 2017, during the #MeToo movement, Melanie Martinez was accused by Timothy Heller, a fellow musician, of sexual assault. Melanie's response? A motherfucking diss track, much akin to when Dahvie Vanity (who is also a rapist, btw), sole remaining member of the band Blood on the Dance Floor released a diss track against one of his accusers, an 11-year-old who was known online as "Jessi Slaughter", when they correctly called him out for raping one of their friends. This diss track, entitled "You Done Goofed", after Slaughter's father, who also called out the band, with his boomer terminology, said online trolls "done goofed".

Melanie's diss track is entitled "Piggyback" and was released on SoundCloud on December 22, 2017. Piggyback was panned by music reviewers on albumoftheyear.org and rateyourmusic.com, for good reason.

Despite proof for the accusation being released, Melanie's fanbase (appropriately called "Crybabies", since they're all no older than 10) still maintains her innocence. Even saying the words "Melanie" and "Rapist" in the same paragraph on Twitter will more than likely make you receive death threats. If you or someone you know is receiving death threats from Crybabies, report them, regardless of if it's on Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok, etc. etc. etc. tell them to go get themselves a life. tell them to do other things with their time than sending death threats to people because they (the death threat senders) like a rapist's terrible fucking music.

tl;dr boycott Melanie Martinez, for being a rapist, and her fanbase, for defending a rapist.

-- Isaac Alan McIntyre