incessant rambling

brainspill

Occasionally, everything feels O-K– you know? When, for a moment, there’s a stillness, or quiet, removed from that of the usual dread (not far removed, evidently)

When I’ve stayed up long enough for the sun to rise all the way– rather than just a glimmer of grey before I fall back asleep, waking again in the dark

I’ve opened my blinds

Still, so long as I’m with me, I feel something closing in 

Darkness, I suppose– in quick pursuit

I can never just be, really

The medication makes me feel a bit lighter, but that something is always heavy on my insides, pulling, constricting, punishing

cleanup on isle 5