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The movie starts in a beautiful, amazing, showstopping, default cyan text in arial-like font and suddenly a pop culture classic is near someone using windows movie maker for a tutorial on how to get free minecraft in 2012. I love it.
George doesnt state just that the galaxy is far away but also!!! this shit happened long time ago. You cant fly your way into the galaxy and meet the characters, fuck you. Or smth. idk why it specifies this happened long ago, im not a story teller ok
Idk if there where like comics or smth before all this. I like to imagine not and so you sit in the cinema and bam wall of text no voiceover read fast BITCH this is the 4th episode no dont worry ab the first trilogy, we dont care ab the start of the story, just focus on the twink that will save the day right now in these 2 hours and nothing else.
And then bam, laser gun fight, middle of action if the yellow text didnt already give whisplash THIS will. Idk if whisplash is written that way cus im not writing this on my phone, pc doesnt spell check so if i make mistakes no i dont, shut up and focus on the laser fight. And im confused on the rebels helmets. Like they dont have a visor. The whole face is exposed. Yes it covers the back of their neck. I guess. But you're mostly facing the enemy if youre not running away. And they have full helmets so. Whats going on with that idk.
Also
This pose is kinda slaying i gotta say. FUCK taking cover near the ground i will fucking look cool. And i respect that.
Then stuff happens yk and Leia girl im on your side but youre on the screen for two seconds, you shot like maybe a couple of times n youre already on the ground. Cmon u can do better
We're introduced to the two droids n. a thing i keep asking myself through the movies is. Why the droids have a personality? Like i get the story perspective, making them actual characters is much more interesting and yada yada. But if their intended use is not companionship n they just gotta respect orders given. Why making them so... human in nature? So "flawed? Why can they be defiant? Hot headed? How can that be useful to someone.
Anyway we get the first locations and we already see what i like a lot ab the og trilogy which is. The practical effects. The designs. It's a robot, we're not gonna use '77 cgi for this but just dress up a guy in shiny armor and we'll build something for the smaller droid like YES. I love that. So so so much. And i love the details. The storm troopers in the desert have dusty armours cus theres just fucking sand all around!!
We meet the twink and one thing i like ab the star wars universe in general it's that. ya sure it's futuristic but also theres so many different locations, and some are more grungy. The technology is still there in part but not everything is clean and sleek, and it's in constrast esp with the empire locations n places, that are mostly clean and perfect n stuff. yess designs. yess contrast YESS SHOW ME VISUAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DIFFERENT SIDES
It's also interesting seeing how different tropes are implemented in a plot more specific like this. Luke is the young guy that's tired of the farm life and wanna go to the city. In his case it's not a city but u get the idea yk.
Then Luke is like ooh hologram of a girl and luke please. dont show interest this way. I will just pretend it was actually all along the force cus theyre siblings so he felt a connection without knowing. And not actual attraction. Because it's a weird subplot that can be left out and theyre siblings omfg. Also this bitch is not interest in women im sorry have u looked at him.
Also watching these movies made me realize like ya. This is def a character that would be a fave of gerard way. Yk the vibe?
Anyway we finally get to obi wan and bam more dump your father was a jedi this is his sword and he decides in two seconds hes also gonna be a jedi and also destroy the empire cus i feel like it and im a pretty boy with the plot on my side. And the pacing is a bit weird
Also he learns ab everything in under two minutes and hes already oh ya ill jsut become a jedi knight and fucking destroy the empire, always fucking hated em anyway.
He's not like other characters, that sure never trusted the empire but are still like minding their business, and then through character develpment start to actively fight it, like han in the og trilogy, andor in the series etc.
No. Oh we need to save this girl? Ya no prob. Ya ill learn how to use a light saber and these powers you talk about, cant be hard. His first thought is "yes" and theres no second one. ya all i know is this sandy place ive lived for my whole life but idc. I dont need training, give me an orange outfit and a space ship and ill do whatever you want. Try me.
And then the tragedy happens and he gets. No time for grief. Like, i understand that they rlly didnt have time n had to go in other places but i need to feel like the character cared yk. You give me all this exposition ab the backstory of his dad and then cut back at the farm bam fucking carbonized bodies cut back to obi wan. Give me a second. To me and to the character.
Let him process it. Make him fall to his knees, put his head in his hair, something. He didnt loose a train he fucking just saw what remained of the two people he knew as family. This movie is 2 hours long, let the plot wait thirty seconds to let me see he cared.
Also i just love how jedi "mind control" powers are basically gaslighting someone while waving your hand. "im searching for someone that looks like you" "no youre not" "no im not".
Oh the amount of designs. Of costumes. Oh movies having to actually make animatronics or put elaborate masks on people that required time to make because the cgi is too shitty to be used. Yes. I love it. it's charming and it's realistic enough and honestly these are movies with laser swords and people that can use telekinesis and travel between planets in a few hours idgaf ab realism.
yesss make scales of the space ships YESSSS
They meet Han and his vibe is between bisexual charm and i want to beat him up with a metal chair. Which is fair for his character but also omg i want to beat him up lowkey
Then he meets jabba and it's cgi, kinda, i think and it's not. bad tbh
More stuff happens, han and his slutty chest showing shirt are getting pretty irritating like i get his character but also omg shut up. And. Okay look i understand the force being perceived as a weird religion but. It's quite literally not. Theres people that can fucking. mind control and use telekinesis. It could not be more real.
Leia gets with the others and her and Han wanna beat up each other from the get go and it's so goofy n funny im sorry
also the part where theyre in the garbage room thingy. I get when the walls are gonna crush em but... the weird? Sea creature? Felt kinda not needed? You could complain a few secs that everything smells n ew smth i think is touching my legs and then go directly to oh no the walls are gonna crush us. No real need to almost drown luke n ahve those minutes of just weird anticipation that goes into nothing and then BAM actual threat idk.
Look thy could have cut the fish part and give a few more secs to let luke grief his family thats all
Also Obi Wan just. vanishes. Like jedis can just decide i will stop existing and then bam only my clothes will remain? He got killed but... not actually? It feels like the biggest fuck you to Vader like "ah bitch u thought u could finally kill me but NO i decided to die, you aint cutting me up."
Also i want star wars character to be a bad pilot. Too many people are good. This is not fast n furious, if you can give me way too many ppl that cant aim with a laser gun, give me also ppl that cannot fucking drive these things. Theres so many buttons, theyre so complicated, why a farm boy that knows almost nothing can just. make it work.
"youre looking too much into it" and i will continue to do so until things start making sense
Also i apppreciate how leia is like hey these plans of the death machine? people died to bring these to us. Storytelling needs to aknwoledge the sacrifices, in a story like the one of star wars between the evil and the good, between an entire empire and a bunch of rebels, and needs to make em also have weight. Take a second to show grief, to make a character remember the losses. It's important.
Anyway evryone is like ooh this is gonna be so hard to do n farmboy first day on the job is like "nah yall are WEAK"
And then a long, loong space version of a car race. And more people die and of course Just arrived from fuckplanet 350 does it first try with obi wan being like oooh fuck the computer close your eyes and just feel it oooh
Also the orange lenses of the helmet make his eyes fucking pop are you kidding me
so first death machine destroyed because all u had to do was playing maximum difficulty of golf and yay we saved the day and honestly next time dont even send the other guys just luke alone is enough he's the universe fave, and they get some medals with luke in a yellow jacket we'll never see again and han shirt being buttoned up feels cursed now
And thats basically what i gotta say ab the first movie. Again, leia and han fight so much like omg the girls are fightingggg stopp cmonnn
it's 2 am and for the first movie thats all
again, love the designs, love the costumes, love them not always having the ability to just cgi their way through it but ac making physical stuff
also the laser swords are... rough for this same reason of '77 technology. Like you can see some clear cuts happening right before they turn them on and it's not the worst but it's still visible yk, it's the first movie, they were figuring things ot, i like everything else, so yay. also the musics slay
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