today, an observation of self (as failure)

My crippling loneliness, pension for nothing, delusion of a saviour (non-existent, I'm drowning all the same)

How I ended up like this, I can't imagine, or see; myself in the past; what would destroy me, now. They hate when I blame them– they parented me– if not for you (them), I wouldn't have had the opportunity to fuck anything up, at all

I wouldn't attempt to say I'm blameless– that'd be totally silly– I know I am (supposedly) in control of my unwise decisions; yet, it's as if I'm operating outside of myself

I'm alone, I've got no prospects, and I don't know who, what, or where I am

Whatever!!! I'm just gonna watch Invader Zim and pretend everything is chemically balanced