Day 61 of improving myself until i avenge my father!

I don't know why but I feel terrible, I'm light-headed and dizzy and I'm tired and I just wanna lie down all day so please forgive my unproductivity. I just wanna lie in bed all day.

Exercise - I think if I exercised today, I would pass out so I decided not to. I did eat clean though, today is my cheat day so I might indulge in some snacks later but today I ate some healthy stuff and stayed away from bad stuff. I did actually drink a small glass of soda but that's it.

Reading - I read some of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. It's really good but like it's a section where the antagonist is trying to kidnap a child and do you ever watch shows where kidnap victims come forward and talk about there experiences, I used to watch a lot of that and the antagonist is a little too good at kidnapping children. I am still really enjoying the book.

Writing - I wrote a whole review in two days and I finished it up today. I am exhausted! Why did I do that to myself??? I have no idea, I could've just said "sorry, guys, no review today" yet, here we are. It was on the game Death Road to Canada and I compare it the movie Dawn of the Dead. I think it's pretty good. Im in my rags phase, Wavieff says that it's worth it. I still need to work my way up and gain exposure. I'll get there as long as I'm consistent.

Learn Something New - I'm always looking to learn more about story telling and how different things are done to improve my own knowledge, today I watched this video by studio binder which was explaining Aristotle and how he thinks a story should be told and some of that is still relevant today. Good to know! I also started watching a video analyzing one of my favorite movies but I decided to save that for later.

Drawing - I didn't, I'll draw more later. I promise!!! Im just feeling uggghhhh.... yk?

Guitar - I know, I know. I just didn't have it in me today. Again, I feel ugggghhhbh. So, you know the drill. I'd recommend the song Baby Blue by the Fishmans. It's such a relaxing song, I love listening to it on a Friday evening to just unwind after a long week. I'm actually in the perfect circumstances for listening to this song. I love it. So good, so calming after a day where I just feel so terrible.

Do something - out of the kindness of my heart, I cleaned the whole kitchen with my sister. I hate seeing the kitchen dirty, it disgusts me. We were home alone and I realized that we should clean it and my sister took a bit of convincing but eventually we got it clean, my dad even pitched in. I do dry the dishes every night but my mom usually has to give me a heads up like "kitchen's waiting for you" or something to that effect. This time, I just did it. It worked out in my favor because my mom's in a good mood after a long day of work.

Relaxation - I did it, I consumed media. I watched Boxcar Bertha because I'm on a Scorsese binge session and it was so boring, I couldn't. I just couldn't stand it but I watched all of it for some reason. I fell asleep during the movie too. I wasn't paying attention to any of it, I laid out questions for myself to answer while watching the movie so that I could find each movie's place in the Scorsese ranking and I didn't answer any of them, it's boring. I'm gonna jump back into squid girl and maybe the sopranos, I'll also watch Mean Streets later tonight.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for still sticking with me even through all my ugggggghhhhh, I'll get back into the swing of things, just give me a few days. I know Im always thinking about Crime and Punishment especially on days like today but on this particular day, I'm actually thinking about Shakespeare and some of my favorite characters written by him like Iago, Hamlet and Macbeth. I love all those guys. But I'm im literally Hamlet, like forget Ryan Gosling or Asa or Travis or some other guy, Hamlet is LITERALLY ME! He only has good intentions but he is hindered by his inaction, which causes everything to go wrong. Also, I know the 16 personalities aren't all too accurate but we're both INTJ, he's very methodical but also reclusive, he's me! I also like Macbeth and Iago, I am apologists for those guys. Macbeth was manipulated into usurping the thrown, he wasn't purely evil, he was tempted by the witches and they intentionally tried to deceive him. Also, him and his wife just wanted to make their way up the social ladder. I don't even know how to excuse Iago, he's a horrible human being, he's sexist, he's racist, he's actually evil for no good reason, he holds grudges against people, he treats his wife poorly but he's really gay, why did they make him gay? Maybe that's why Iago is so unhappy with his wife, he is gay and his wife is obviously in love with Othello's wife, she defends her at every moment she gets.

Me and my sister did quizzes on which Othello character we are, I got Hamlet and she got Iago. That doesn't say anything about her, okay, she's not manipulative or racist or sexist! Anyway, I think what makes Shakespeare so tragic is that his characters have one trait that makes them incompatible with their situation. Macbeth is too ambitious which allows him to get manipulated but someone like Hamlet is too inactive and can't get things done. There's a theory that Shakespeare protagonists would excel in each other's stories, like if Macbeth was in Hamlet's situation, he'd get things done before there could be any bloodshed and Hamlet would be too meticulous to get manipulated by the witches. People speculate about which characters would make the best swaps and I find that really interesting. Anyway, I'm tired of pretending Shakespeare is bad, he's great, I love Macbeth, I love Hamlet, I love Othello, good plays! Read them!

Addendum

Baby Blue

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