cardial

the light from the email tab hurts my eyes, it's been open too long

i ask why i am up at this hour, and the answer is 'thinking'

how everything i do has let up to this moment and, i don't want to scare you

just as much as i want to be in the back seat of your car

or at the holiday market

or just passing but still there

the tarot cards told me not to worry anymore, so i don't

and i still think about everyone i failed in little ways

i didn't mean to, i'm sorry

i only get what i am given, i promise, and sometimes i don't know how to accept it

if i wasn't meant to go, why did i?

if i wasn't meant to? why?

fate is a tricky thing.