Christmass-Dissmus 🤷‍♀️✨🎅

First blog post since having this platform for like 2 years and largely because I couldn't stand being on Facebook when it became twnse and awkward after losing a couple of friends and having to quit my job which looked all glitzy and glamorous but honestly wasn't. 

I was being paid 200GBP a month for fulltime work that was adhoc and needed to be done aa I dropped everything else to do cold emails, or stalk potential clients on LinkedIn.  

I was also told not to sing anymore, and he had me blacklisted from the industry as a session musician which was annoying. 

So I came here..  

The last couple months have been tense, as in October I joined Bigo woth the hope of making a small side hustle for christmas, but then the PK schedule would roll in asa compulsory rota, I couldnt leave my phone unattended and when I did livestreams singing to Livehouse my agent, qho was a 45 year old former pub singer who felt she deserved to be famous woukd either bribe other people via swaps to pay for votes to keep her in LH and beat the opposition out.. aka all of her hosts or start some social politics in the group chat. 

I then left this too, but I cant help but wonder if ss a Neurodivergent female i exist to he abused as socially no one can ever like me and that maybe I fall into the uncanny valley of human beings and will be bullied out of every job role owing to the fact that i am fundamentally wrong, and unlikeable.  

I know that I have ADHD but I scored as allistic in several assessments, but then I also feel bad for liking music or cartoons and when it comes to being well-dressed, I gave up several years ago as I am fat and ugly and once I turned 25, life is over anyway and I am now elderly.  

Anyways, this is my first blog post. 

Hopefully it reaches someone decent.