"Lowkey died π"
U.S. (sadly), FTM
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Category: Writing and Poetry
I've lived somewhere hot for years now, but I still remember the snow. I crave it. It pulls at me constantly, with a bone deep longing that makes me want to sob until the tears erode tracks in my face, until my whole existence becomes nothing but the emptiness. But at least that'd be something. Being ever empty is better than being never all the way full. If you've ever laid in a snowbank you know... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Recently the thought of eating has repulsed me- mainly due to the heat, if I had to guess. It’s not a lack of wanting to eat, only a lack of appetite. Like something got stuck in my intestines and now rots there. Mould growing along the cilia, covering the stubby tendrils in a greyish black funk that will never be washed all the way out. At the same time, I’m so starving that I feel as if I’m dyi... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
Somedays it seems that yearning is the only thing I'm good at, like the empty abyss that's carved its way into me sucked in all the things I can do and only tossed the empty husks of an echo back. There's a yawning cavern, like the empty box I got for my birthday. Every time I try to get something it fill it it's either too big or too small. Nothing ever fits right. I wish someone could love me th... » Continue Reading
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Category: Writing and Poetry
I've always kept stones in my room as long as I've been allowed to say what's in it. Smoothed round river stones, gemstones in all hues and shapes, geos with powdery shells and glistening innards like jam pastries. Whenever one was big enough, heavy enough, I'd lay it on my chest. They were comforting and helped me sleep. Chips of the Earth older than I pressing down on my sternum. I still do it n... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
I got one of those binders that zips on the side recently, but I've been having to keep it undone since I've had trouble breathing. I don't think it's because of that since I've always been like this, even when I was little. The binder is mainly there for some sort of comfort even if it's not doing anything. Earlier I felt the unzipped seam, like a gash torn into in my side. It reminded me of Ada... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
I just saw something on how to crystallise things and it honestly made me a little sad that I don’t have a partner or anyone to make things for. I haven’t found myself wanting something like that in a while, but the ideal of seeing someone happy from giving them a crystallised flower or shells sounds so nice. Maybe I just want a good friend I can give gifts to without it being seen as romantic, bu... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Sometimes I think of how thin the line between body horror and love can be. The poets write about peeling back ribs and eating each other’s hearts, but it’s only love because it’s gentle. Any other context and it’d be disturbing. In a sense I can’t handle pain, and there’s a certain aching risk you have to submit yourself to in order to feel affection. It’s terrifying. » Continue Reading
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