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by now i've watched all of season 5 (except the finale) but i've only reviewed a few of them</3 this is because i've been extremely busy and for these posts i like to sit down and really think about the episode. SO i'm gonna start with what's probably on my top 5 fave episodes, a written AND directed alan alda certified golden. ladies and gentlemen, HEPATITIS.
- 5X19 - Hepatitis: this is the episode that keeps on giving. let's start with the HAWKEYE INDEX: 10/10, for obvious reasons. This is a very Hawkeye centered episode but in a way that explores his dynamic with all the characters, particularly... BJ. Now this is clearly a biased point of view, as i am veeeery pro beejhawk. BUT I will also talk about the more niche, hawnk, which I also love. Which takes us to BISEXUALITY INDEX: 10/10, for, again obvious reasons. Let's make a quick list of the numerous fantastic beejhawk moments:
- RIGHT AT THE START "Did I ever tell you you look cute without your shirt on?" from Hawkeye to a shirtless, sweaty BJ doing pushups. Now Alan, what are we even doing here? What's all this?
- "I could give you a massage" BJ says to Hawkeye, seemingly sincere. Hawkeye looks him up and down, he still hasn't put a shirt on, and says: "not unless you put your shirt on." I rest my case.
- There's various shots of them standing incredibly close, perhaps... too close? Let me remind you, Alan directed this. He also wrote it.
- BJ is reading from the book about the operation he's about to do. Hawkeye comes from behind and, without previous warning, tries too look into his eyes. BJ is obviously annoyed, but it's a very domestic sort of annoyance. Hawkeye still needs to give him his shot. BJ says to meet him after surgery. Hawkeye then says he'll wear a "flower in his buttonhole". BJ replies "Swamp, 10.00". As a goodbye, Hawkeye wishes him good luck. Once again I rest my case.
- The scene at the... is it a bar? Anyway. BJ is clearly already very intoxicated. As Hawkeye comes in and he notices him, BJ jumps up, yelling "Hawkeye" repeatedly, hugging him tight. Then this exchange takes place: "Show me your tongue" says Hawkeye. "My tongue? That's small potatoes. I'll show you my butt". He then proceeds to strip as a tired Hawkeye ogles at him. Afterwards, BJ dances and Hawkeye quite literally runs after his butt, to then finally give him his shot. I NEED TO SPEAK TO MR ALDA RIGHT NOW RIGHT THIS MINUTE PLEASE POR FAVOR.
Alright, let us continue. There's also a very juicy Hawnk scene, mostly due to the proximity between them, and the way Frank... is. Listen. Listen. I'm activating my """"shipper"""" mode. They have literally fucked at some point I know this and Frank is the loneliest he's ever been. He wants Hawkeye idk what anyone says this scene says it all. Moving on. KLINGER INDEX: 8/10 now he wasn't in it a lot, but the one scene he had, he was cute, he served, and he was manhandled by Hawkeye. A win is a win. ANTI-WAR INDEX: 8.5/10 as I've said multiple times, the anti war message is inherent in basically every episode. This one is not the strongest, but I do like that scene with Hawkeye and Potter just talking about the miseries of war together. It's sweet. GENDER INDEX: 10/10 oooohhhh boy give it up for trans radar everyoneee!!!!!!!!!! Here we have insane amounts of gender coming from our favorite boy, and THAT scene with Hawkeye??? Straight up a coming out scene you CANNOT POSSIBLY change my mind where even my brother, when we watched it together, thought it sounded like a literal coming out scene. AND I KNOW Alan knows about all this stuff so WHAT'S UP ALPHONSO, WHAT'S UP. GENERAL LIKABILITY: 10/10 it is such an enjoyable episode I cannot overstate this. It's so so fun and interesting and emotional and cute and perfect. Alda gold. GOOD TELEVISION: 10/10 once again Alda demonstrates he's a master at crafting insane episodes of TV i love you so so so so so so sosooosososo much. Perfect episode no notes MWAH. Overall rating: 9.5
Once again thank you Alan for making fantastic TV and giving your character such a gay ass haunted eyes flair I really really appreciate it.
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