heeyyy

new to blogging

diary? I wish I could draw in this

will update.

I've been working on my portfolio, I'm hoping to begin a career in tattooing. being an artist is really important to me, and I draw every chance I get. I tend to stick to anthropomorphic animals, but I love to study the male form. i strive to give art everything I can. I will be forever working on something. 

brain mush

I want to try and read a book this month, just any book, I feel like I've forgotten how to read somehow. I also want to be more educated, I've started debating watching classes online about art. I want to join art classes, as well as learn more about tattooing history. I want to be dedicated to the craft

I wanna try to start speaking things into existence, I've been getting better at cleaning my room, I've definitely been better but I've definitely been much worse. I want to start inviting people over. I want them to meet my lizards :)

I have 2 lizards, and two dogs. Salsa and Blaze, a bearded dragon and a leopard gecko, and Olie and Maggie, both bulldogs. I suspect Maggie's a mix of a lot of things, but oldies an old English/English bulldog. both are incredibly healthy, my dad takes great care of the babies.

I'm still learning how to care for myself and all these animals, and my dad helps me every chance he gets. it's awesome.

I've already been 18 for almost a year, I'm almost 19, don't have my driver's license yet (I'm working on it, a real struggle -_-) 

if I could post my art on here, I feel like that'd be nice, idk how I'd structure it. I would love to get into the deeper side of myself, and taking myself seriously. I love exploring and it's something I've been maturing into

💀

I keep yapping for a bit tldr: I'm stinky, tired and have serious bed head. I love my boyfriend.

is suffer from persistent depressive disorder, so it's hard for me to be consistent, but I hope this will help me somehow.

I've been in therapy before, had to leave because I turned 18. I for sure miss it but I've definitely been good.

it's interesting to be like this. I'm happy, successful (ish), I love my boyfriend, he loves me, I live with my dad, my mustache is growing, my crops are flourishing.

I'm unloading all my issues here btw

I could post like I'm on Twitter but idk if I should use it like that, it'd feel a little odd to me. it's such a formal sight

I have a few problems I cannot quit, and I feel as though it's my downfall. 

I chronically smoke weed(W), and I'm addicted to my phone, like Bad.

I used to have a reason to be on my phone, but I've just had no motivation to create more friends, to talk to others without them talking to me . it's difficult! I do not know why. 

since I've been in my "healing" cocoon, I've lost all of my interests, I've had no motivation to do much for myself, I'm having fun, just not doing anything with myself (keep in mind I graduated half a year ago. it feels like it's gone by so fast but so slow. I've begun hanging out with new people IRL too, so I'm hoping that's helping. it feels like it.

I cannot take medication, somehow, all of them just did not work. I also can't remember to take medication ever. daily habits are hard for me.

I also tend to talk about myself a lot, and that's something I've been working on

it's me and my boyfriends 2 year anniversary this week :)

spew of brain mush, cause who's gonna see this *_*