that time i got a tumor for my 16th birthday

september of this year i noticed a little lump on my uh, scrotal wall (basically right next to my balls). said lump kept growing and becoming more and more painful, but i really didn't care, until eventually said lump got hard as a rock, and i finally said something about to to my mom. the next morning, october 18th, my 16th birthday, my mom is driving me to the emergency room, and they do all kinds of testing and subject me to basically torture. they did an ultrasound on my nuts, which incase you didn't know, ultrasounds require you to press the scanned body part as FLAT AS POSSIBLE, which if you're a dude, you can imagine how much that shit hurts. after the tests were all done, and i'd had my balls fondled by 7 different doctors IN THE WIDE OPEN TRAUMA BAY (they ran out of rooms) they were like "uh yeah thats a tumor we need to check if it's cancerous" (it wasnt). I had it surgically removed and am now doing fine

if anyone asks what i got for my (not so) sweet sixteen, im saying "i got a tumor and 7 people fondled my balls"