senior fall play

The school's play this year was called "A Play About A Dragon", and it was funny and everything. It was good. But I don't feel so sad about it. Like, I'm not gut wrenched that it's over, when it very well may be the last play that I ever preform since I can never do the spring play. Like, I'm not sad or even affected by knowing it's done. I feel like I should be. Shouldn't I be sad? Devastated? That I'll never get to do that again? And I LOVE preforming, I love going out on stage and having people see me and making them laugh. But I'm just so indifferent about its end, I don't know what's wrong with me. This is how my entire senior year has felt, and I don't know why. 

MAYBE it has to do with my pissyness regarding the casting. I got cast as a guard and an auditionee (there was like an audition scene). Both very short parts, I only had speaking lines during one scene as each character. The other auditionees/guards were freshmen, so I was kinda mad that I'm considered to be as good as a freshman after acting my whole life. One of the leads (everyone agrees) is just a nepobaby with no talent. She only gets casted because her dad was the head of the choirs for YEARS and was really renound with it. And then he died a few years ago. She does no choir, no band, no nothing, and just gets cast as a lead in every musical and play. Nobody thinks she's good, parents and student all complain about how she acts the same in every role (and it's not very good) and I'm just done with it. She's also babysat the director's kids for years. On top of that, one of the other leads (who got the part I wanted) has done two productions and is the worst person in the cast. She has no inflection AT ALL when she speaks. It sounds like she's just doing a read aloud for a group of kindergartners. Her diction is also awful, so you can't even understand what she's saying. And you're telling me SHE got a lead over ME? Oh, did I mention she ALSO has been babysitting the director's kids for the past few years?

I also have this friend in the cast who has done every single show at the high school, has been in drama club for four years (including serving as an officer) and is in choir. Yet this year she got cast as the dragon. A puppet with no speaking lines. The other people who were manning the dragon were stage crew. I feel so bad for her. She's not even a bad actor. She's been doing this forever, and deserves a lead more than me and ESPECIALLY more than the nepobaby and babysitters. I'm so pissed. We both are. We just chilled backstage the whole time and didn't even pay attention to anyone else. The theater department has also become really cliquy. In the past, the upperclassmen were always inviting everyone to go to Sheetz after rehearsal, or mcdonald's in between school and evening dress rehearsal, things like that. But this year, the upperclassmen who were the leads (undeservingly) just invite each other and make a point to make sure that nobody else comes with them. Like, it's a tradition that after the first night of a show, we all go out to eat n park. This was the plan this year, but the leads were complaining about it and saying how nobody wanted to go and if anyone showed up, they'd be the only ones and it's not even fun anyway. So I went to a local ice cream place with my friend who's not in the cast and just came to see the show, and my friend in the cast just went home since she's so over everything (I don't blame her). It turned out a good portion of cast and crew went to the ice cream place, and we ran around hopping between fast food restaurants (we DEFINATELY shouldn't have been running along a sidewalk-less road at 10 at night) but it was fun. THEN the next day at the show, the leads come in talking about how much fun they had at eat n park after the show. Really??? Honestly, I would've way rather been with the people I was with (I have no interest in being with the leads...) but really? That's so bitchy, I'm sorry. 

sorry for the rant again. I promise the next blog will be silly.