I'm in love again

So, I fell in love with one of my friends. His name will remain a secret for now but let's just call him Charlie. Charlie is a guy I met at our table during my English 3 class. At first, I didn't really get him but I really wanted to be his friend. We both have the class after English in the same hallway so I started conversations with him and I soon started referring to him as my friend. There's just one problem though and it's that he sometimes finds me to be a bit annoying. It's not that big of an issue and he's even warming up to my presence even if it can get slightly obsessive at times whenever my romantic feelings really take control. Most of the time though, I get too nervous to actually know what to say and there's also times in which I freak out and lash out at my friends because they're teasing me and I'm scared about the possibility of him finding out about my true feelings. I think he knows because he's a very observant person but he personally doesn't say much so I actually don't know if this is the case. However, he does smile at me and there are times in which we say jokes and I make him laugh such as Friday when I told him that he should stop procrastinating on his essay and he told me that he only had to write the conclusion. I then corrected myself because most of my friends are horrible procrastinators who don't finish things on time and he let out a small chuckle. I like spending time with him. Friday was a good day for me though because I was sitting with him and his friends. Lunch ends at 2:06 and it was about 2:00 when I was already sitting with them. Charlie was showing his friends random things on his phone and I was about to get up and leave when he paused for a bit, pointed at me, and said "Don't move yet. I have to show you something." with the most serious tone. It was honestly fun to see everything he was showing me. I saw some things he made in Minecraft, a little figurine that he 3D printed, a tower of cups he made from the floor to the ceiling of his robotics class, a robot he made in the same robotics class, a door sign that he made in his BIM class during freshman year, and a pixelated drawing that he made in Microsoft Excel for that same BIM class. He told me to stay like almost 10 times and when the bell rang, we were walking side by side while he showed me some videos of traps and other things he made in Minecraft instead of me just following him and his friends like a shadow. Another thing that happened is that he kept moving his finger back and forth across my shoulder to see if my fluffy jacket was 2 sided and I was so nervous that I think his friends noticed I was trying to not smile and blush at the same time. At the end of our 3rd class, I walked to my AP Pre-Cal class with him like I always do and he told me that he was still tired because he was still running on like 2 hours of sleep and it felt like if it hadn't been for us having 2 different classes during our 4th period, we could've kept talking forever. When school ended, I walked to where he was and he looked at me before asking me how I was doing and I told him that I was falling asleep in my class. He showed a hand sign that he learned how to do but it's like a gang sign (I swear he's like hyper obsessed with dangerous things and it's not a good thing but I can't stay mad at him since he only does it for fun even if he's still playing with fire in the process and he also understands my somewhat deep hyperfixation with fire). At like 10 PM, I sent him a message on Discord since I no longer give out my phone number to friends of mine and he thought I was sending him a riddle because I brought up something in his about me but I told him what I was talking about and he answered me although he did say that I'm a confusing person. He went offline though so I started listening to Turning Out Pt. iii from The Maybe Man album by AJR on Spotify and he sent me a message telling me that he loved the album but I got so nervous about how to respond since that song kind of describes how he sort of makes me feel that I ended up leaving him on read and kind of killed our conversation which is sad since I won't get to see him in person until Tuesday. Also, I have like 3 pictures of him that I took of him and some of my friends that we know so at least I'll have that to keep me sane while I patiently wait if I don't get to talk to him online. The only thing I'm not looking forward to about going back is that there's a slight chance that one of my friends who knows I like Charlie will go through with an ultimatum that he gave me in which I either tell Charlie about how I feel or else he's going to personally tell Charlie himself and I really don't want Charlie to know about how I feel yet. To be fair though, every moment we spend feels like pure bliss to me. Overall though, I'm glad I met Charlie because he's very special to me

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