uh oh she's venting

i love talking. i love expressing my opinions and sharing the things i know. i just love communicating. but it's so hard to want to speak when nobody pays attention to me.

yeah i understand if i randomly start rambling... i see how that might be annoying.

but i don't even talk that much! i'm the quiet kid in all my classes. i only talk when im with someone i'm comfortable with.

but people will ASK me things. and they won't even pay attention to my response. 

it's so frustrating when people talk to you but can't even listen when you talk back.

now i don't know if this is my fault or if everyone i surround myself with are assholes...

but if it's my fault, i need to know what i'm doing wrong. i need to know how to get people to listen when i speak. because right now i feel like nobody likes me and they want me out of their lives. 

but maybe it's my fault my voice is so monotone and i stutter and i can't get my thoughts together and i overexplain things.

sometimes, even when people are listening they still don't understand what i'm saying. just because i overexplain something to the point where it's not understandable at all...

help.