Firsts

Warning!!! Uh- Emo feelings and shit ig idfk. Oh also like- drugz, sexx, all that dumb shit

 I wish I explored firsts more, I'm so young yet I'm still at an age where I'm supposed to have experience things. I should have kissed, had sex, done something illegal. Something a teen is supposed to do but it's 'supposed' to do. I feel like I've done nothing. I draw, I write, I do things that are 'creative' but it's all regurgitated shit that I found from other places. I wish that when I had dated, that I had kissed him. That I had held him close enough to start something we shouldn't have done. I wish, when I found alcohol, that I just took it. I wish that I've gotten myself alone with girls I don't know and got on weed, or got drunk, or just did something bad. But I don't because legally, I shouldn't. And I know it's dumb, it always has been. But sometimes, I think I'd be more fulfilled if I made those outright bad decisions before. And now, I don't think I can do those things anymore. Because it all sounds boring, and I haven't even done it.