Entry 2 || Laconic People Pleaser

I'm really enjoying the comforting atmosphere of this website, so I kinda wanna treat this like an online but public diary for myself. 
I've always had trouble expressing my thoughts irl since it'd always been a little draining for me to converse with anyone who speaks to me first. Sure, I could try avoiding them or openly express my unwillingness to engage in conversation, but I'm a people pleaser who doesn't like making people feel ignored, so I often just suck it up. I'd be a hypocrite if I talk about feeling like people aren't really listening to me if I were to make people feel the same way too.

Or maybe I already am a hypocrite. I don't know, but I do hope I'm not.

Plus, there's this uncomfortable feeling I get when I talk to people about myself irl. Sometimes, I don't realize that I completely switch topics to myself during a conversation, so when I realize it later on, I can dwell on it for weeks thinking about how self-absorbed I may have seemed.

I know talking about yourself's literally how conversations mostly work, but I'm more of a listener than a talker. I think. 

Anyways, I just find this website really "securing" because it feels different from other social media platforms I guess. It feels a lot less toxic, and something about this place makes me feel free of judgement, so here I am.

I hope my feeling of security on this website doesn't change in the future.