ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER SOPPY GIRL UPDATE

it's 11/30/2023, just a little over a month until the new year. so uhh I don't really know how to start this off, but yeah. uh, I don't really know what I'm doing with my life. ooh I did the low effort get a job achievement but like, theres not really a point in me doing this shit. I have no goals or anything. no matter how hard I try and try to think of new options and new career choices I get more and more lost. Then it makes me wonder. what *is* my purpose? what is my point in life? I'm not even good enough to get a gf or a partner or anything. I'm not ready or looking forward to raising a family, and all I really like doing is playing shitty rough music and collecting CDs. other than that nothing is like, really FUN anymore.

its been almost 5 years since I've truly enjoyed and been contempt with just, being alive I guess. Idk lol it feels like the entire world is fucked and somehow its my own special fault for being me. my whole life feels like a bad luck curse anyways, I just miss when I could entertain myself. nobody wants to hang out with me anymore, I'm socially awkward to no repair, everyone in my town is a crackhead dunce who all act the same, and I just. I'm just hopeless, okay? at least I have my best friend and, yknow, my cds lol.

every day is getting so boring, I just wish I could get out there and really meet some quality, genuine people who don't look at me like a weird retarded fat goblin baby.

I want to go out on the open road and be free!! I want to explore with no limits, go to places and do things that are in the legal grey area, maybe even beyond. I want a real life where I'm more than just a loser girl whining on the internet. oh well. all I can do is wait. and wait. and wait. maybe one day those stupid politians will just get it over with and blow everyone up. I feel like thats more likely than me (and most ppl tbh) getting to be happy,