11/29/23 So Deep That It Didnt Even Bleed!

Had to get bloodwork the other day but I was so dehydrated that the blood didnt come out...

In other news finals week is almost here kms! I also am hosting a guest lecturer at my school tomorrow and I am actually shitting myself over this discussion I hate being responsible for things! Like I have an hour to fill with a 7 min video and a q and a with this natural resource management expert/ environmentalist and Im so scared no one is going to show up or there will be issues with the internet (the lecturer is zooming in) or no one will have any questions for him! I wish I could be excited for things like this but im only looking forward to it being over.

Also my hyperfixation on some certain youtubers that have been having a comeback recently has resurfaced and thats the only thing I really want to think about rn. They are great escapism until I snap back to reality and realize how lonely I am and lowkey jealous. 

Speaking of youtube I think im going to film a video instead of having dinner, kinda in the mood to get worse :3 Actually thats a bad idea, I can put SOMETHING in the air frier for myself, I cant be cranky for all the shit I have to do tomorrow. I love the idea of getting worse but I really cant afford that rn and I am in my emotional healing era anyway.