What now?,,,,,,,,,,,,,Journal 8 (vent ig?)

Hi all 

So me and my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up officially. 

It sucks. I miss him.

He is so sweet, handsome, and gentle with me. I miss telling him all about my day over the phone and he would say something like "that's great, babe!!" or if it was a bad day he would be like "I'm sorry baby." 

I miss seeing him basically every day. cuddling together and laughing about something silly we were talking about. I can't believe it's over. That can't be it can it? It can't be over yet. We always have made a comeback, communicated, and improved. and I guess this time it's just done? that doesn't feel right.

We were so good. What we had was beautiful. I can't imagine myself with anyone else. I can't believe it's over.  

I wish I could go back to the beginning. when we first got together. I wish I could re-live every moment. Every good one. Every bad one. All of them.  I miss cuddling. I wish I could know why he doesn't feel like himself around me anymore.

I was his special girl forever. He said it himself.