update blah blah

hi spacehey! been a minute. my last blog post was about how i just quit my job, and i'm unimaginably unhappy to report that i am Still unemployed 🫠 it's not for lack of trying. i apply to jobs every single day except for weekends, and that's only because people generally don't post jobs on the weekend and my method has just been to filter job listings based on location, entry-level, and whether they've been added in the last 24 hrs. i just scroll & apply until i run out of jobs. 

it's a miserable existence. i wouldn't wish it on anyone! 

i'm being a bit dramatic. in most senses, i'm incredibly lucky; i had a good amount of savings (though that is now running out) and i have a good relationship with both of my parents, who already said they would help me out if i needed it. i don't want to take their money, though. i've been out of the house for a year and a half and have only asked them for money once, and that was because i found out my new acne medication was $100 a month. im only on it for 6 months, so that only ended up being $300 each from my mom and dad, which is nothing close to the ~1.3k i need for rent, groceries, and other bills each month. 

how would that math work out? $650 from each of them? not...terrible, since they both have good jobs and make enough money, but it still sucks that it's come to this. i can't help but feel like i'm to blame for not sticking it out longer, even if i'm trying so hard to get a new job now. 

i've had a smattering of interviews--more since october started, for some reason--but no offers, and at this point i would probably take any offer i got. i have a few leads i'm following that have basically been put on hold for thanksgiving, but i'm hoping one of them will pan out so i don't have to go home for christmas (which i'm doing this year even tho i didn't last year!) with my unemployment hanging over my head. here's hoping for a christmas miracle or whatever. 

anywayyyy that's where things are now. hopefully i'll be more active once i have a job and i'm less depressed. oh! and my N2 japanese exam is coming up this weekend! i've been studying for it for a year, and this week i'll be doing pretests and shit to try to prepare. god i hope i pass. might kill myself if i don't ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

hope everyone is doing well!