Over The Overpass's Ledge

(Currently a standalone piece, unrelated to any other works. I'd love any feedback!)

I did not realize I was scared of falling until I was half a second into free fall. 

I did not understand that I was afraid of death until I saw the concrete growing closer.

I did not know that I was scared of everything until I gazed down at the sky, and I saw all the stars dazzle a silently beautiful symphony. They were mocking me. I thought about the abuse I’d received from everyone. From classmates, from coworkers, from friends. I imagined the entire universe abusing me as they had. Every star, every planet, every speck of the cosmos pointing at me and laughing; Uttering profanities that scarred both my name and my soul. I looked to the street, and the street glared back at me. I looked to the buildings, and the buildings glared back at me. I looked to the sky, and the sky glared back at me. I looked to the stars, and the stars glared back at me.

If I was not screaming as I fell from the overpass to the ground below, I was crying.

I did not know that I was scared of nothing until I hit the ground. I did not die instantly. I didn’t think I would. My head hit the ground first, the rest of my body crumpled after it, and I lay sprawled out on the concrete in an agony I could not process in that moment. 

I do not know how long I laid there staring at the starry night sky in the agony of a thousand broken bones, but I found an unprecedented solace in the twinkle of the stars. I wondered, for a moment, if they were truly mocking me at all. I wondered if they were truly glaring at all. I wondered if the rest of the world was glaring still, or if it had been glaring at all.

I did not close my eyes. I did not want the sky to leave me. I did not want the stars, or the buildings to leave me. I did not want the people, classmates, coworkers, friends and all, to leave me. I was not ready to leave.

If I was not screaming in agony on the pavement beneath the overpass, I was crying.

The stars started to leave. One by one the universe blurred and died before me. The buildings lost their shape. My vision began to fade. With the stars gone, I looked to the moon for solace. But it, too, was leaving. I wanted to raise my arm to stop them. To grab the moon, to grab the stars and bring them back, but my arms would not move. I realized that my eyes would not move, either. My entire body was unresponsive. 

In the last moments, as everything left me, I spared a few hazy final thoughts. And before the moon was gone, I wondered;

Who pushed me from that overpass ledge?