ranting (p2)

life update: it is shit

I have no fucking energy to do this or overexagerate (big deal!) and its all bc of an attention-seeking whore, a retarded kid who gets his mommy all up in his biz, and someone I fucking considered my greatest fucking friend (a fuck named andre).

why? BECAUSE ANDRE decided to fucking betray me like judas and jesus JUST to “get closer” with the aforementioned attention-seeking whore. 

An entire friendship built from the FIFTH. FUCKING. GRADE. absolutely RAVISHED by a lowly, straight A, “perfect”, “tomboy”, all up with the latest trends, “smart” (yeah right, I could fucking do better than her in any academic setting if only they didn’t fucking discriminate against me), “karate champion” (I fucking fought her last week and I, an anemic, parched, with a broken wrist fucking beat her, what kind of karate “champion” is that? mind you, I never attended a single lesson of mother-fucking karate or self defense BULLSHIT) whose parents dont pay attention to her unless she goes above and beyonnddd and gets the best fucking results possible, whom everyboduu FUCKINT LOVESSS!!!! ohhh that motherfucker sureee must be happy knowing she poisoned my onlyyy friend into becoming JUST LIKE HER

ffs,, they have NOTHING IN COMMON. NOTHING. only yhe fact that they both hve straight As and are loved by each and every single teacher cuz they’re “such good girls!!” and mommy and daddy love eachother verrrryy much and have a reaLlallll good marriageee

Apparently, andre belives that only “smart” people are worthy of her attention and that I’m “stupid” because I don’t understand a subject that she goes to private tutoring for (it’s physics)

Now, that aforementioned whore APPARENTLY started telling her that I’m “too violent” (all I do is just cuss) and now she’s tryna make it out to seem like she’s the only person andre can trust when I fucking sacrificed all and got fucking NOTHING in return

nobody fucking likes me and it’s stupid cuz I’ve always given em homework, nice words and deeds but just because i’m “the new kid” still, nobody fucking trusts me. And I can’t reaalllyyy complain cuz it’s been like this for as long as I can remember: always moving, always switching schools and people never trusting me cuz im “unsettling” (apparently being retarded makes me unsettling: I get it. the fact that a family member of mine was jewish makes my life even more shit when you take into consideration that everybody in this god-forsaken country hates jews cuz they’re not “christian” and that a cult created by a schizophrenic old guy and a girl who didn’t wanna get stoned for having premarital sex or whatever is apparently the “supreme relgion” and the “ultimate truth”. ULTIMATE TRUTH, MY ASS)

i dont know, chat should i fucking end it cuz idfk how ill cope with this fucking loneliness and my delsuions arent making it any betwtyerr!!!