iron man 1 review (spoielr for ironman 1 2008)

this movie is badass as fuck. first thing we see is cool ass army dudes and tony stark in a hummvee listening to back in black by ac/dc,  followed up with the car infront of them fucking blowing up and them being shot at and shit. if thats not badass, i dont know what the hell is.

Then theres like some minutes of like flashbacks which is kinda dull but its alright. Then we see him and this awesome smart balding dude idr his name but he spoke like 15 langauges and put a magnet in tony to make like shrapnel not go and kill him, which is also badass. and what makes it more badass is the fact that he's hooked up to a damn arabic car battery. that is cool as shit.

after this balding dude in glasses is being like cold n cool as shit making you think he's a villain he reveals hes a prisoner of the like isis in this movie and he's actually just smart as shit. a bunch of shit happens but whats important is that they want him to build this like crazy ass mother fucking rocket thing, its like 16 enormous atomic mega missiles strapped together on a fucking cart that blows up mountians and shit.

so tony first says hell nah, and they like waterboard him or some shit like that. however, he then gets a awesome fucking idea so he agrees to build the mega rocket arillery shit. tony and balding guy get given a bunch either seized or just like bought stark equipment idfk and get to work. firstly, he builds his tiny nuclear chernobyl reactor that powers his heart instead of the battery. then after like three months , tony and balding man finish the mark 1 ironman suit. Its fucking awesome, they like blow up a door and shit then the balding man being rad and badass as fuck sacrifices himself so tony can live. he like runs out with a gun into a group of armed isis terrorist fuckers and gets like mauled cause hes a nerd who cant shoot shit but thats besides the point.

tony goes like beserk with his suit, punching people to death with 1 punch like 1 punch man and finds the balding guy in glasses, who says some sentimental badass shit about tony like "having everything but nothing at once" or some crap like that it was cool anyways. then he dies and tony goes out and burns all the other equipment the isis bitches had with the rad flamethrowers he has on the suit and causes like hiroshimna 2.0 by this afghan cave and when hes like being burnt to a crisp he activates his fucking rocket boots and flies the fuck outta there.

he lands in the desert, gets found, yadadydayda bla bla bla boring shit with hot pepper patty or what the fuck the gingers name was and then, he's made the like mk2 suit. which is more like ironman ish. he flies around with it, gets frozen, almost dies, makes a hole in his roof and immediatly starts building another one.

when hes got his like mk3 he decides to go back to afghanistan and buttfuck the terrorists again. he lands in some small village and kill like 700 terrorists, then proceeds to blow up more equipment. the US military see this on their like gps radar shits and r like "what the fuck is this" and they send out planes to bomb him but fail miserably cause iron man is just that badass.

then theres a bunch more yadadya shit i wasnt really paying attention to when there was talking and no misses potts on screen so like i dont remeber but idc. i dont even remember where im at in the movie anymore so im just gonna stop.

this movie gets 

9/10 badass points cause its badass as fuck

5/6 gold stars cause its actually a very good movie

i very much recommend iron man 2008