Jealousy [old writing]

I am easily jealous, even with people I’m not close to. It’s awful when I have a one sided attachment to someone. They can barely be my friend, barely have an opinion of me, barely even know me, and yet I’m completely and utterly obsessed with them. I’m enamored by them. Infatuated by their existence. 

They can barely feel a thing for me while I struggle to stop thinking about them. I’m twinged with jealousy and envy whenever someone that isn’t me speaks to them. My brain is easily fractured and darkened whenever I go a short period of time without them simply looking at me. 

I want to crawl under their skin and infect their mind like a virus. Slowly destroy them from the inside out with rot and decay and thoughts of me. Want them to only think of me to debilitating points. I want to ruin them, destroy their chances of living a normal and healthy life. I want them to suffer with jealousy and envy for me while I strive for normalcy.