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I, 26F, met my now ex husband, 32M, in June of 2018 and tried to not catch feelings because i was in my self independence era but as much to my dismay, I caught feelings pretty hard. So after a couple weeks of talking and mostly having intercourse he asked me to be his girlfriend and i agreed. It was such a great relationship at the beginning. We hung out and communicated with each other, everything was going great. Honestly perfect. Before we even started dating we both agreed that if we weren’t happy with each other than we would tell that person and either try to resolve it or leave the relationship because we had both been cheated on in the past and we didn’t want to hurt each other like that.

So Jan of 2019 comes around and i find out i’m pregnant! We are both excited and got married the next month on february 12th!

Unfortunately this is where the story takes a turn. I end up quitting my job due to my pregnancy but then, he quits his a week later. He somehow started getting sick when he got a new job at a really great construction company. Which unfortunately led him to lose his job because you know, when you don’t show up for 3 months that’s usually what happens. So i ask him if he wants me to get a job or a part time job (4 months pregnant at the time) and he says no! of course not! He wants to take care of me, so I also agree and stay home, constantly worried about money and where we are going to live.

Somehow things work out and we end up getting an apartment and at the end of August our baby girl is here! So we move in, I had to get a c section for delivery, so i was told to be on bed rest and only take care of me and baby. Obviously i felt guilty making him do everything else so i would clean whenever i felt okay. (he never cleaned unless told to and it was very hard to get him to shower) Unfortunately i got an infection in my cut from being too active. and had to be on bed rest even longer.

Apparently none of this was good enough for him because in November of still that same year I caught messages between him and a girl in this discord server, called Task Me! 18+. Nudes, videos, all the cheating works. The thing that hurt the worst though was finding out that this woman is also married and has a little boy. And they felt so inclined to one another that they were agreeing that they wish they could take their kids and run away together. (and to answer any questions, no i had no idea about this server beforehand. he’s an adult, he can put two and two together to realize that it was wrong.) So i immediately call him home and ask his mother to come by to help me with our daughter cause at the time i was only 3 months postpartum. So after i have the obvious mental breakdown before he got home, i calmly asked him about it. he admitted to it. As this was his first offense, I stayed against my better judgement.

Obviously trust issues were grounded and i made him deactivate his account and delete discord. Causing him to ghost that girl.

Things were rocky for a few months especially with the pandemic getting worse. He asked for my help with getting a job and as much as i tried, i was still too mentally overwhelmed with his unloyalty & my postpartum depression, i couldn’t keep a job for long. And with me mostly taking care of our daughters needs 24/7, sleep deprived was an understatement. So around september of 2020 we got a notice saying we were being kicked out of our apartment. My ex blamed me. He moved in with one of his friends in a trailer park and i moved in with my parents. We were fighting a lot with the separation and at one point he threatened to take away our daughter and divorce me multiple times and said i needed to prove myself to him. I found out that he was talking to multiple women on discord, buying liquor, cigarettes and some girls onlyfans, all while i was working and taking care of our daughter because at that point he was completely homeless and living in his truck.

I got my job back at a pizza restaurant and started getting better. He lost his place to live with his friend and moved back closer to huntsville but was homeless and living in his truck. All of a sudden he was apologetic, wanting to work on us and get back together. I, like a fool, fell for it. But told him that i refuse to be treated like he treated me, and said i want access to his phone whenever i want. & he agreed.

I ended up getting a studio apartment in jan of 2021 at my friends house. After a few weeks they allowed him to stay with me too and from there we started the process of working on us again.

It seemed okay, of course we had our fights. But by the end of the year around Nov he got an offer with his friend to move to Oklahoma and get a job with him. So we agree to get him there first, let him start working, get money together for me and our daughter to eventually follow him there and us live together.

He left November 29 at night. Arrived December 2 in the afternoon. The last message i received from him was Thursday December 7th. He then proceeded to ghost me and our daughter for 7 months. Absolutely no contact. I called Oklahoma police, the hospital, the jail, i joined a oklahoma community group on facebook to try and find him. I was worried sick. Finally took me calling the police station and filing a missing person report to find out that he’s perfectly fine! He has been at his friends trailer this whole time. And of course hasn’t been working or doing anything that he promised us.

April of 2022 I finally bought a trailer all by myself. And had a place for me and my daughter. Ex husband comes back around the middle of May and i buy him a ticket home. At this point it was unverballly mentioned that we were separated. I had gone to a lawyer in the month of March and since it was so expensive I had to postpone the divorce.

So the evening we get home after i pick him up from the bus station i get a message from his friend back in oklahoma saying that he apparently got into a relationship with a girl in a different country and he has been having intercourse with one of his friends friend on the side all while being there.

i ask him about it and he gets defensive about it saying that they’re just trying to stir up drama. I tell him that we are separated, so if there’s anything he needs to tell me, to do it. he then admits to both accusations.

So he starts living with me and we end up sleeping together a couple times. He keeps saying that he is going to tell his girlfriend but always comes up with some excuse. I start feeling guilty and so i tell her. Obviously this breaks out a fight. He wakes me up at 4 am and makes me stay awake while he yells at me full force with our daughter asleep in the other room. He starts threatening to beat me, threatening to take our daughter and verbally abuse me. He took my phone from me and threatened to hit me if i tried taking it back. Eventually after three hours of this i had enough and went back to bed.

So he moves out and moves in with an old friend of ours. We don’t talk for a little while unless it’s concerning our daughter.

At some point he got tired of the drama over that place and eventually moved back in with me. He told me that him and the girl he had dated overseas, weren’t together but were talking so he considered himself single. As you could guess we ended up sleeping together again. Only this time he was the one initiating it and saying i have to keep it “our little secret” .

So after weeks of gaslighting and feeling like I was going crazy, I admitted myself into the mental hospital. He wasn’t getting a job and the emotional abuse was so bad i felt like it was the best thing for me and my daughter. I lashed out at him saying that he was leading me on but yet manipulating me at the same time and i made him call the other girl and tell her everything. Being the obvious pathological liar he is, he didn’t tell her everything. So while i was in the hospital me and her got to talking. And turns out he lied about everything, all the way to the finest detail.

When i got out of the hospital, i did feel better and things were slowly getting better. I unfortunately had to sell my trailer and at the time we learned that his grandfather was passing so we took an emergency trip with his family to go see his grandfather for a week. While we were there things seemed normal and acting like it was great. I thought finally he had realized that things could be great if we just stayed honest and up front with each other. He said he would start day labor when we got back home and i agreed i would doordash when we got back too until we could figure out a place to live. When we got back we used some money to get a hotel room for two weeks, I doordashed a couple times, but he stayed at the hotel not signing up for day labor like he agreed. I tried to dismiss it but with both of us splurging our tax income money, it came to light that we didn’t have enough to stay another week at the hotel. So i called my friend that i had rented the studio from a while ago and asked if we could room there for a night. They agreed that we could stay a month. So i restarted my OnlyFans and started looking for government housing and jobs. I made sure to be open and honest with him about every onlyfans interaction because that’s what we agreed on.

My friend let me know that they were going out of town for a few days and we would need to get a different place to stay while they’re away. I said it was fine and we would figure something out. So a few days before they were leaving, her and her husband had a big argument. I left with our daughter and took her to my parents house because the husband was throwing things and yelling, it was scaring my daughter. I texted my friend and asked if she wants me to come back and talk. She said yes, that she did need a friend. So i came back and let her vent to me about her husband and what was going on. We got into the subject of divorce and different types and her husband called and heard her whispering to me and got upset about it.

she sent me this, “I’m sorry for this but we need you to leave as soon as you can, because my kid needs lunch and a diaper and he does not feel comfortable enough in his own home to walk into the kitchen and get the baby what she needs when there is someone who can’t mind their own relationship in our house and the financial strain of feeding 2 1/2 more ppl is putting unnecessary stress on the relationship I haven’t gotten to fully talk with him yet we just went to bed last night and I went to work today but that basically where he’s at and it’s basically ether you or him.”

Which of course i was sad about but i understood because that’s her husband and sometimes we do things we either disagree with or don’t like because of our significant other. Because we love them. So I went back to the house and got to packing all of our things and my ex helped. Only he was acting weird. He barely packed any of his things and only put mine and our daughters stuff in the van.

When i asked him if he was ready to go he said “i’m gunna ask if i can stay here since i’m allowed to come back when they get home.”

“What do you mean YOUR allowed back?” i asked.

“Her husband said i could come back but not you.” he said.

Yeah you heard that right.

So i get upset because as far as i knew everyone hated my ex for all the shit he has done to me and our kid over the years. So tell him that’s absolute bullshit and I leave with our kid to my parents. He chooses to stay.

(For context, we were trying to work on us during this time)

So my parents make a comment that i didn’t think about until later on, if he truly cared for me and our kid he would have said “no i won’t stay here if my WIFE and CHILD can’t stay here.” but he didn’t. he stayed. didn’t care to ask where we would go or if we would be okay.

So not even two days after this and without even asking me or communicating with me, he got back on discord and started flirting with different women AGAIN. So i immediately go over there and confront him. His dumbass started hiding his phone because deep down he KNEW. HE KNEW. And this man gives no shit.

Ethan Adam Clayton is a pathological liar, manipulator, and deadbeat dad who truly only cares for himself and no one else. He sucks the soul out of people and leaves them dry when they provide no other use to him.

Just today i tried asking him if he wants to see our daughter and he has ghosted me. AGAIN. (Nov 2022)

Update—

Sept 2023- it’s officially been a year of him having no contact with me or his daughter. She asks for him constantly and there’s not much I can do. As far as I know he now lives with his new girlfriend in an apartment complex in town. They seem to have money for cell phones but not money for him to see his daughter. Or call. Or attend her birthday. How many more birthdays is he going to miss before he can realize what a grave mistake he’s made by choosing to abandon his daughter? He doesn’t respond to texts. He won’t answer phone calls. He has blocked me on discord. What does he want me to tell our child?

Update: Hopefully last one, after getting all of this off my chest I feel better. I no longer concern myself with his affairs. I’m in a happy relationship and this man loves my daughter like she’s his own which is more than I could ask for. We have our own place and I’m able to stay home with my kid. Reminder for the ladies, there IS someone out there who will treat you like the queen you are. I truly thought I was going to have to do all this by myself. I’m so grateful for my man 🥹💕

TLDR: Former husband cheated on me multiple times, manipulated me into sleeping with him and paying for everything, and now has completely ghosted me and our daughter.