Pitiful participant

I play this game as a volunteer,

Often victorious results in her defeat.

Whether i win or lose is not my fear, 

It's the position you place me in where i feel like a cheat. 

My triumphant battles bring you to me,

Entangled so frequently, you comfort my frame.

Head in the clouds; you're too carefree,

as i lie nightly clasping constant shame.  

This pastime for you has been a fun ride.

Once originally a distraction,

I have now lost all my pride.

I question if there is anything to be had, 

For peril creeps further the longer we consort.

I wonder if losing would be so bad, 

Or is all of this for naught?