Letters to my mom part II

and mom i've written letters i keep in my pockets that suffocate me every time you pass by me because they know they're never gonna be read.

 and mom i'm sorry for the tears you've never been able to cry but you've made me spill enough for the both of us.

 and mom i'm sorry i laugh too hard and cry too silent but i don't know any other way to do it.

and mom i don't tell you but i'm still scared of the dark and the monsters that hide between turning off the lights and your smile fading away.

and mom every time we're happy i know you know it won't last longer than a butterfly, even if it never had wings.

and mom i'm sorry i never looked good in white but it burns my skin to wear the colour of peace.

and mom i've never shown you my scars and the cavities that lie beneath my sighs not because i know you'd blame me, but because i still don't have the courage to.

and mom i'm sorry i'm not perfect but it hurts to iron my flaws and file my teeth sharper just so i can have the strength to bite the food you feed me,

and mom i never ran away because i hoped one day you'd want me to stay,

and mom even if this is just another letter i keep in my pockets, i'll hide it underneath your pillow tonight.

and mom i know you won't find it but at least that way, i'll have a part of me close to you.