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I've made this accaunt specificly because i don't wanna have any emo shit on my main, also because i would like for this to stay anonymous.
Throughout the past few years i've been thinking about ending my life more and more frequently, and up untill a little bit more than a year ago i would always ignore the urge to actually do it. Last year during september i've been planing to end my own life and never actually did it because i came to the conclusion that i'm fine with the way life was and that i'm willing to see what happens next. Over a year later and i have pretty much given up on life. I no longer want to be here. Its not that my life is all that bad, but i just overall feel like a worthless person. The title is probbably a little exageratted since i will most likely stay alive for a much longer. I don't have any plans on ending my life, or any ideas on how to do it, i just wanna say what i've been thinking about dong for years now and yet somehow no one in my life knows.
I hope this dosen't scare anyone i just wanted to let out some of my thoughts out after so long
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𝐻𝒜𝐼𝐿𝐸𝒴 𝒢𝐿𝒪𝒪𝑀𝐼𝐸
hey hon, are you sure you aren't struggling with a mental health issue like major depression? I felt SO much like you did when I was in the depths of it myself. Felt su1c1dal every single day, and thought nobody would care if I said goodbye permanently.
️ If I decided to end it 3 years ago, I would have never met my wonderful boyfriend, met my best friend, or graduated college.
️ Again, I PROMISE you that depression is lying to you.
Depression is the nastiest liar you'll ever meet. Depression just wants to wreck you and bully you. That negative inner dialogue and intrusive thoughts aren't the REAL you, they are depression being a NASTY LIAR.
Please take care of yourself and hang in there.
I beg you to at least be open to seeking professional help if you haven't already, it will be the best decision of your life. Fuck anyone who tells you ignorant shit about psychiatric medications, fuck anyone that says depression isn't real, fuck the idiots who say "just smoke weed/do xyz recreational drugs, they will cure your depression", they do NOT have your best interest in mind. You are dealing with a complex illness that consists of brain chemistry issues, and not getting treatment or hijacking your brain with MORE depressants will NOT HELP.
Just squeeze out as much of your savings as you possibly can to get professional help. Go to the psychiatric hospital if you have to. I bet that they'll at least do a free evaluation for you.
PLEASE try to stay alive. Not for others, but for yourself.
My IMs are open anytime, please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you need to talk. 💕💕 YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I have Bipolar II and PTSD which causes me to have very similar intense dark thoughts that can happen without warning and they can be terrifying. I completely understand.
I didn't think people would actually be nice about this, or see this tbh but it kinda made my day. Idk I surprisingly had a alright day and wouldn't want to be on your ass about personal struggles, still thank you though.
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Oh what a relief, I'm so glad you're still here
️ Are you feeling any better?
by 𝐻𝒜𝐼𝐿𝐸𝒴 𝒢𝐿𝒪𝒪𝑀𝐼𝐸; ; Report
I'm doing a bit better recently, but I still feel kinda depressed. Also sorry for lot replying I'm not on this account very often
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Mattia ☭
ik this probably seems useless to say, but please consider getting help. if you ever wanna talk about what you’re feeling, my msges are open <3