recent events have shown me how uninterested i am in romance

I always thought that I was really down for dating and stuff, ya know? Like, I wanted to be in a relationship and date someone. Maybe it was just because all my friends were always dating people, and I just didn't want to third wheel anymore, because now that I'm ACTUALLY thinking about it, I'm turned off by the idea. I thought a boyfriend was something that I really wanted, but in light of recent events, I just want to be left alone. I don't want anyone to like me, or to flirt with me, or to want to kiss me or hold hands with me. I just want to go about my life, get everything I need done done, go to my practices, and curl up in my bed with my cat. I just want to be alone, with my thoughts, and just have to worry about myself. I don't want any of the obligations that come with dating. Just let me go about my life alone, it's easier than having to worry about people. Peaceful and less stressful. 

Important background to this story: my mom is a paraeducator at my high school, which means she helps the class of kids that are lower level than normal, but aren't special ed so they're not in those classes. There's a name for it, I'm just blanking. There's this kid in her class (I'm just going to refer to him as Applebottomjean) and my mom found out he likes me.

My mom really likes Applebottomjean. She says he's super nice, which I know, and that we have a lot in common since we both do track. He's from another country, and was adopted and brought here to the US without the ability to speak any English, and was held back a few years. This is why he's in her class. A few weeks ago, he started sitting at my studyhall table. We talked, but conversations never got too interesting. All we ever talk about is working out or his jobs, so I'm not like DYING to have these conversations. However, I soon start leaving my studyhall to go down to the practice rooms to work on my piano since I often don't have time at home because lately I've only been getting home around 9:45 or 10 due to practices. My mom started getting mad at me for this, as well as for me "ignoring him in the hallways". I didn't realize that ignoring him in the hallways was something that was happening. I'm kind of oblivious, so I didn't realize that he was apparently waiting for me in places so we could walk and talk. She thought I was being mean to him, which wasn't the case. He's just not my top priority. I worry more about practicing my instruments than talking to some guy I hardly know. When I complain about having to third wheel my entire friend group places, she just tells me "well, you can just take Applebottomjean" and the other night, she came into my room giggling and said "what would you do if Applebottomjean tried to kiss you?" I told her that I had no interest in kissing him, but she just laughed and left. We go to this one family friend's house, and they always talk about guys I should date and how I need a boyfriend, and now the main object of this is Applebottomjean. Everyone also seems to think he's super hot, too, and I don't see it. He's definitely not my type. Too jock-y, not enough rockstar-y. But now, I'm stuck sitting with him in studyhall, and I'm just exhausted to go there. When I try to work on my schoolwork, he just keeps talking, and I don't want to tell him to stop because then it'll get back to my mom and I'll be in trouble. But I just. Want. To do. My own. Thing. I'm not interested in him. I don't want to hear anymore about how he can't get his muscles to bulk up, or how he goes to the gym all the time. He also brags all the time about how he can draw anything he sees completely realistically, and I think he's only saying that because he knows I do art. He's now also been grabbing my backpack in the hallway so that I stop and talk to him, but I don't want to stop and talk to him, I just want to walk in peace to my next class. 

The worst part happened at the parade the other day. 

He'd been asking about it all week, and my mom said she was telling him about it. Whatever. Then afterwards, my best friend and I always go eat together. Well, this year, she invited Applebottomjean. My parents were just ordering pizza for the entire table, so while we waited, my friend and I headed outside to see the band. My friend is a majorette, but wasn't with them in the parade since she went with the dance studio instead. Since I've been in concert band for a while, I have a lot of friends in marching band but I'm not in it myself. THe cheerleaders also walked with the band this year, and since I'm a cheerleader, I wanted to see them (like my friend, I went with my dance studio instead of the band/cheerleaders). Well while my friend and I were screaming for the band and cheerleaders, I looked behind me and saw my mom with Applebottomjean. I ignored it, since I was cheering for my friends instead. But then my mom came up behind me and whispered angrily "Applebottomjean's been looking for you everywhere, go talk to him." No, mother, I'm DOING something. My friend then saw him and said, "no, you're not dating him. He's creepy. You don't want to date him." I informed her, no, I did not want to date him. My MOM wanted me to date him. Once the band left, I went up and talked to him, and my friend went up to my mom and told her how much I hated the situation she was putting me in, and how I didn't like him. I talked to him. It was awkward. My mom even had me get an awkward photo with him. My brother also showed up with his friends, one of which I've known since he was a toddler, and he asked me if "that was my man". I said no, and when asked if I was interested "even a little bit" I said no. They all winced and started making jokes about him. Then my friend said we had to go inside, the food was probably coming. And my mom invited him to go eat with us. He said he had to go ask his family if he was allowed to come, and I assumed that was just a no. But my mom then said "why don't you go with him to ask his family?" I tried to get my friend to come with me, but she was creeped out by him, so I was on my own. We walked like a block away to go to his CHURCH. HIS DAD WAS A PASTOR. I went into the church, and there were children running EVERYWHERE. I HATE kids. On the elevator, we also shared it with two of his older siblings and one of their wives, where they teased Applebottomjean about me. Fuck. I met his dad--a scary bald man--and his dad's GRANDSON? THERE'S GRANDKIDS ALREADY? And then we headed to the restaurant. Now, I think it's important that I mention him talking about marriage. Way. Too. Much. When we were leaving his church, he said to me, "you know, since I'm the oldest guy in my family living at home, I'm next to get merried." HUH? WHAT? YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL. He'd mentioned marriage before, saying that if he isn't married by 23, he's going to join the military. HUH? WHAT? Anyway. The whole dinner was awkward. We drew, which was fun. I drew dragons. Every time I went over to where the parents were sitting, my friend's mom would say how hot he was and ask, "you're really not interested in him at ALL?" No, I am not. He eventually left (he could only stay for an hour) and it felt SO much less stressful without him. 

When I got home, my mom asked me if it was fine that Applebottomjean was there. At first, I said yes, but then I went back and told her the truth. And she got mad at me. She said I "third wheeled my friend and her boyfriend all the time, what's the big deal?" and I told her I wasn't interested in dating him AT ALL and she told me "she wasn't trying to get me to date him" as if she hadn't been insnuating that. She had various points, where she always made me out to be mean her to to be some victim in this situation. One of these points was, "I wanted to know what you would do if someone liked you, and if you'd know what to do." Thanks, but people have liked me the past. The one she told me about ended with the guy being too shy to talk to me, and the other guy was a stalker (who now has multiple restraining orders against him). She also said she's worried about me, and that since I'm going to college soon I need "experience" and to "know how to talk to guys." Thank you very much, but I am equally bad at talking to EVERYONE regardless of gender. 

Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion. Maybe he's just a completely normal guy, and I'm driving myself crazy for no reason. But this has shown me something: I am COMPLETELY unitnerested in romance, and happy living my solo life without dating someone. The thought of dating just frustrates me now, I don't like anyone like that, nor have I ever. But. Maybe Applebottomjean is just a chill guy, and I'm paranoid and making issues up in my mind that aren't even there. 

Oh, also, I just recently found out today that he's appearently a player and very clingy. So. There's that. I don't know if they're just rumors, tho, but I have heard that he's not the best guy from multiple people. 

Sorry for the long rant. I wanna die.