11/19/23

9:14 PM 

 It's about time I've updated this blog. I really need to enforce writing on a daily basis upon myself again, it's an easy habit to fall out of when you are lost in your own madness. Life has been pretty fulfilling compared to how I was the last time I had posted a entry on here. For starters I don't feel like I'm stuck in one continuous loop of being miserable anymore, things have been looking up for me. What's even better is that now I no longer yearn for all the bad things I've dealt with in my past. Not to say I'm not grateful for those moments, I realize they've helped me learn and grow along life. I finally am in a really good relationship with the sweetest boy I know and it's been going on for about 3 months or so. My grades are being maintained at a steady pace, but have increased a lot! Enough for me to be eligible to graduate with my peers which is such a dream to me since all my academic life I've been considered a "lost cause" child due to my lack of interest and understanding. I turned eighteen a couple of weeks ago and I'm finally getting my ID on the 21st. This also means I got to start looking for work, but since I'm still pretty occupied with school I'll try to earn money in a more untraditional route by doing model work. I did my trail shoot yesterday and it went so well! The lady who had signed me said she was surprised I hadn't done model work prior and a bunch of other ego boosting complements. What she had told me when she stated talking business is that her and her company guides models and non models alike to start their journey into the industry, basically means that they are there to read contracts, build you a website, help you find castings, etc. I'm just in control of what work I do and get to choose which ever agencies welcome me. Honestly, as overwhelming as it may all seem, I couldn't feel more right in life. To have the sense or the feeling that you did something good for yourself in the long run is just so extraordinary to me. I already had a strong passion for modeling and runway, but to see it come alive, in real time? It makes me excited to see what the future has in store for me. One day you will be too.

Sincerely, Jezebel.