enseam a

we were holding hands running through a minefield. i misstep on accident. how could i be so stupid? she's yelling at me so intensely, telling me I'm stupid for not being more careful. my leg is wobbly now but the knowledge that hers are steady quells any hurt i might feel. i keep going, never faltering through the mines that go off. it's all one big accident. im just super klutzy and stupid. sometimes even i don't see through the mask. 

soon enough I'm running miles ahead of her. that way, the mines go off before she can even see or hear them. i feel them all, as they explode all around me and explode under me. it's been so long since she saw a blow up. I'm dysfigured now but it's alright. she's perfectly in tact. she doesn't even remember the bombs. she tells me i must have imagined it all; I must have been dreaming. maybe im extra sensitive to bombs. 

i give her a boost so that she can effortlessly make her way  up and out of the minefield. my back hurts from where she stepped on it but I don't mind. i claw myself up with bloodied fingernails, barely making it. she smiles sweetly at me with her one dimple, offering me a hand as i reach the top where she stands. i don't take it. i wouldn't want to get her hands dirty. i get myself up. she has a bit of dirt on her otherwise pristine cheek. i hand her a tissue, making sure my filthy hands don't mar it. she wipes it away. 

she still doesn't know why i flinch at every loud noise. it wasn't that bad, she says. there weren't even that many mines.

there's blood dripping from my fingertips. maybe she was right though. maybe i dreamt it all up. it's just like me to make things harder than they need to be. 

i make her laugh. it travels through my body, lighting my veins up better than any drug. every second was worth it. 

through it all, it's me and my sister against the world.