writing this sitting in the toilet lid while my bf takes a shower

my boyfriends quite gay. quite feminine. 

i just shaved his legs for him 

i know he likes girls i'm not at all afraid that he doesn't but i often have fears involving how he would feel happier in a relationship with a guy. 

like i SHAVED his legs for him 

i feel like he's more my gay / trans bestfriend than my boyfriend at times 

or maybe he's just my boyfriend who loves me and wants to be a girly girl. i think this is the most accurate. because i do know he loves me. he doesn't think there's problems. the problem is me and my lack of communication. so i know that he loves me and never wants to be with anyone else ever and that he sees me as his end game but i don't see him like that because i dont ever communicate with him what's actually wrong and then he doesn't fix it and that causes me to not like him. so i am the problem.

but i also feel like with the right person i wouldn't have to communicate all of these things. like the things that are wrong with our relationship are things i shouldn't have to communicate

i should not have to communicate that i want u to spend time with me, that i want to see u more than just once in the morning and once at night, that i want u to actually hangout with me and not watch videos on ur phone the whole time.

like any moment we are alone together he puts some shit on his phone, literal ipad kid cannot he away from a screen for more than 5 minutes 

idk i love him, i know he loves me, but i just cannot see having a real relationship with him. i like him but the romance aspect of our relationship is severely lacking. BECAUSE WHERES THE ROMANCE. 

is this one sided? probably.