I've been masking for way too long.

I have been living wrong my whole entire life.

Hi, my name is Sherine, and I'm creating this blog post to hold myself accountable for living my life how I want to live it. I have been presenting myself in passable ways in front of my loved ones and I am very tired. 

Quiet, agreeable, well-mannered, not a sore thumb. 

Attending college for a career that will deem me successful. 

Working towards moving out, working towards a higher paying part time job/career.

Dating and trying to find a guy that fits "the standard" of who "Sherine" is suppose to be with forever.

Being on social media and trying to present myself in a comprehensible way to strangers that don't even know me.

I am tired.

I was over the phone with a friend, and she told me she feels insecure with how her "personality" is. She believes she does an excessive amount in a day and her experiences that set herself apart from others have made her insecure.  I laughed a little and told her everyone wants to be unapologetically themselves, but don't have the guts to do it.

I didn't want to have a regret as large as not being myself before I died.

Hear are the few things I would like to start/stop doing, in order to live more authentically myself:

1.Stop holding back

DO WHAT YOU WANT. I am sick of thinking of what I truly want to do, then all of sudden saying "Nevermind!". Or just because I "thought" about it already means I don't have to to do it in real life. Don't give up. Create what's in your mind. Your energy is not wasted if you do. The point to life is to live it, not second guess it. Do it. Do it. Do whatever you desire!

2. Be present

Take the current situation you're in and see what you can do with it NOW. Don't overthink or overcompensate for the future. All your decisions need to be made for the future, yes, however thinking in terms of not being good enough, or the idea not following through doesn't work out in your favor.

3. Live life exactly how you want it, fuck the "what if"

FUCK THE WHAT IF. JUST DO IT. Round trip Sherine. No pit stops. No second guessing. Dedicate yourself to the way YOU want your life to look. ONLY YOU. No one else matter because you are living this life. NO ONE ELSE.

4. Think about what you desire, then do it YOUR way.

Just an extra detailed version of #3. Every second you breath, blink, take a step or speak is you making that decision to do so. Please take pride in your OWN decision making, DO NOT give your power of choice away to something or someone else in this world.

In a sense, this first blog post is suppose to be a promise to myself that I will just do what I want, with no worry about my personality not being enough for someone else. As long as I'M enough for myself, my power is in my hands. 

SO....here you go Sherine. Read back on this when you feel lost or not confident in yourself. As long as your intentions are set and you follow through, I'm sure should work out.

See you later!