Mental Health

Have you ever hated certain things about yourself?? Like, the way everything triggers you to be trapped inside the darkness of your own depression? Soft whispers of anxiety poking around your mind. Trying to find anyway for you to overthink a situation. Then, once that button is pushed, you're left in a puddle of melted emotions? Screaming uncontrollably until finally you crack! Self sabotaging everything.

I hate that about me. Especially, when shortly after, I'm back to normal. Smiling and ready to bounce off the walls like a ball without gravity. 

What hurts the most is when you're in love with someone. So happy that they're in your life, but you somehow manage to fuck it up. Over thinking. Testing them. Pushing them away. Shutting down. Whatever you feel at that moment. 

Yet, you want them to stay through it all. "It's just who I am. Take it or leave it" is the worse thing you can say because if you truly love that person, you'll work on those toxic traits. No matter the situation. 

Understandably your past has left wounds covered only by bandaids. You just have to find a way to seal them completely so you can heal. Grow. A seed can not sprout unless water is given. A flower can't grow until sunlight is provided. 

So, when given those two necessities, what are you going to do? Just stay buried and forever trapped in the dark soil or you're going to break free and let everyone see your beauty?