i apologize

      

    i’ve had so much on my mind lately and i dealt with it the way i known how to for a while. and now you know about it. i’m sorry. 

    when you know i’m not okay, you try to make me smile. sometimes it works for a bit because i can’t help but fall more in love with you by the second.

   but my heart hurts because i know i’m letting you down.

i broke my promise. 

i lied to you. 

 

but honey, please, i don’t want you to think my mistakes have anything to do with you. 

in my head there’s things going on far beyond even my own comprehension. i don’t understand why i feel this way. i don’t understand why my mind works the way it does but i can promise you one thing and i will keep this one i swear; i am going to try my hardest. 

i can’t tell you i’ll be okay right now but i will be eventually. i never liked saying i need someone to depend on for  my own happiness but when it comes to you i don’t know why but you are now the ONLY reason i smile at all. without you i’d be nothing. i’m sorry.