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becoming what u swore ud never be

decided to start learning down and out on the guitar for no real reason. kinda just trying to find the easiest songs i like while im waiting to have enough for a half decent bass. i mean i can be a kickass guitar player but i dont want to be. too many strings. my fingers r too big for this. i can kinda play along with the song now though which is pretty fun. fingers hurt like hell though. keep accidetnly touching other strings with my ring finger which is super annoying but nothing i know how to do is helping. not looking for advice bcuz i dont ACTUALLY care.

havent really done a lot worth blogging about. a lot of my entries r gonna end up saying that tbh. i dont leave the house unless its for school and i only go to school twice a week so thats a whole lot of sitting at home trying to find things to do. not going very well so far. dont know what im gonna do when school goes out for summer. gonna be bored as hell and hot as hell. not excited. just been listening to a lot of tai (shocking) and watching every drew gooden video. running out of videos though. gonna have to find something new to watch. maybe ill rewatch zim.

that sleeve thing the girl gave me yesterday still smells very strongly of her which would normally be fine because everything smells of something but now that ive noticed it its Everywhere. she uses a lot of lotion and hand sanitizer so the alcohol/weird flowery shit mixed together is not the nicest. and one of the family friends came over today and they have this crazy strong scent. shes been gone for abt 4 hours and i can still smell it. i have a crazy weird sense of smell and i blame them because i know theyre the ones ive noticed longest.

dysphorias getting considerably worse actually and spring-summer is like the worst time for that to happen. binders sweaty as hell and washing it gets annoying after the first few times and its considerably too hot to wear my Dysphoria Sweater(trademark) so im out of other options. cant really look in the mirror. having 2 use my webcam for everything bcuz i can angle that in a way that doesnt make my boobs obvious. at least ill always have my trusty fake dick.

okay im gonna go back to like. practicing this song now.  bcuz ive nothing better to do. well. i could play red dead but i dont want to. played rdr2 online for the first time yesterday and just got annoyed when the guy in the quest with me fucking sucked. oh yeah song of the day is days like masquerade by tai. listen to it if u havent i love it so bad

bye mikey blog looker atters


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