Talking about my Bat Mitzvah

A bar mitzvah (masc.) or bat mitzvah (fem.) is a coming-of-age ritual in Judaism. According to Jewish Law, before children reach a certain age, the parents are responsible for their child's actions. Once Jewish children reach that age, they are said to "become" b'nai mitzvah, at which point they begin to be held accountable for their own actions. Traditionally, the father of a bar or bat mitzvah offers thanks to God that he is no longer punished for his child's sins.

In Orthodox communities, boys become bar mitzvah at 13 and girls become bat mitzvah at 12. In most Reform, Reconstructionist, and Conservative communities, the milestone is 13 regardless of gender.^[4] After this point, children are also held responsible for knowing Jewish ritual law, tradition, and ethics, and are able to participate in all areas of Jewish community life to the same extent as adults. In some Jewish communities, men's and women's roles differ in certain respects. For example, in Orthodox Judaism, once a boy turns 13, it is permitted to count him for the purpose of determining whether there is a prayer quorum, and he may lead prayer and other religious services in the family and the community.

Bar mitzvah is mentioned in the Mishnah and the Talmud. Some classic sources identify the age at which children must begin to participate in the ritual of fasting on Yom Kippur as 13 for boys and 12 for girls. The age of b'nai mitzvah roughly coincides with the onset of puberty. The bar/bat mitzvah ceremony is usually held on the first Shabbat after the birthday on which the child reaches the eligible age.

Although we are Messianic Jews, I had my Bat Mitzvah when I was twelve, and it was a celebration at which my whole family in Portugal got together (as they had just over a year before for my sister). It was a landmark, rite of passage, if you like into adulthood. Yes, although most states see a child as an adult when they reach their eighteenth birthday (some others the twenty first birthday), in terms of our religious community I became an adult at twelve. It was a few days after my actual birthday, and just over a week after my menstruation period (which I had been getting for about five months previously).

Reaching the age of bar or bat mitzvah signifies becoming a full-fledged member of the Jewish community with the responsibilities that come with it. These include moral responsibility for one's own actions; eligibility to be called to read from the Torah and lead or participate in a minyan; the right to possess personal property and to legally marry on one's own according to Jewish law; the duty to follow the 613 laws of the Torah and keep the halakha; and the capacity to testify as a witness in a beth din (rabbinical court) case.

Many congregations require pre-bar mitzvah children to attend a minimum number of Shabbat prayer services at the synagogue, study at a Hebrew school take on a charity or community service project and maintain membership in good standing with the synagogue. In addition to study and preparation offered through the synagogue and Hebrew schools, bar mitzvah tutors may be hired to prepare the child through the study of Hebrew, Torah cantillation and basic Jewish concepts.