Short passage from my book ToT (might do the end later idk jsut yet)

"fuck.." max mumbled under his breath as he fell back from the friend group

He was crazy after all wasn't he? 

God dammit- not again..he didnt want to go through this again. But fuck..

He was in love again. As much as he hated it he couldn't help it. Not even now as his ear grew redder by the second not even as his heart raced faster realizing this. He was in FUCKING LOVE- and this time thought..? He didnt seem to mind it, no, as a matter of fact he rather seemed to enjoy it this time. He couldnt deny it any longer. It only made sense though ,now, as his mind flashed through the memories of him and leo.

He stood there like he had the wind knocked out of him. And he kinda did. The more he thought about how much life seemed just around leo made his heart race a bit faster, leaving him doubled over slightly panicking now at this point. the icy wind freezing his throat and lungs as he tried to calm down.

no.

this couldn't happen again..Last time he fell in love it ended with only his heart broken into what felt like a million different sore pieces. He had felt like a part of his own heart had been ripped out and stomped on by the person he had once loved. And it had taken him what seemed like forever to move on from them, and he was still just now getting over him. And every once in a while when he had to see him it left him crying in the middle of the night, gasping for hair as he would cry heavily in his pillow wanting more then to re-do that day and never agree to go out with his pals.

But now as people pushed past him looking at him with strange looks as he managed somehow to stand up and try to recollect his self.