tiredtiredtired

i didnt want this one 2 get too venty but it DID so ignore that all if u want :c literally spent all day sorta just moping around tbh i have no energy at all liek kms truly. i lay outside on the grass for like five hours though cause i figure its better than laying in bed for five hours. i guess it waz better tbh but i felt like shit either way x3 i climbed down my cliff again too liek as soon as i got the energy to get out of bed !at like 12 wwhich honestly was a bit or a win for me. thats hardly even afternoon! so it was nice down there ig but idk. bad day :3

i did nothing at all today but i erm went to my moms so that was a bit of a change of scenery ig :c i didnt clean my room though and my dads liek fully harrassing me abt it WHICH IS FAIR. i hate having a depression room cause fully what do you meannn im super depressed and dont have any energy to clean my room and why does my room reflect that !! its liek embarrassing okay. i also sorta wanna try go on meds but my faith is super low becuz my like. physical health meds arent working right now and why would ssris work .. im maybe just dooming myself dw :p either i go on meds or kms ill decide sometime 

feeling very annoying to The Bf today but i feel annoying everyday and liek it cant actually be the case. either i am annoying or im not but ill figure it out. actually what it is is that liek he met me when i was Super Stable and now that im not is liek euegueguegu you know .. scared that he'll find out im a mess and h8 me or smth which shows little faith in him cause hes so nice sorry 2 The Bf (i hope u never find out how much i talk abt u on here)

read gone girl though while i was outside. that waz nice i love u amy dunne tbh girl i think u did noting wrong . ofc with more complexity but im just . too tired for that rn. 

NOT looking forward 2 my history exam tmr but im way less looking forward to english and bio next week .. im gonna fail bio which is so shitty but its liek fully my fault I Suppose <- guy who has had no energy 2 get up and study and has been rotting in bed abt it. bio hates me fully so so bad. being at skl alone is gonna kill me though cause my bestfriend wont even be there and neither will The Bf and liek either im gonna have a panic attack and cry or i thug it out x3

literally why do i bother making a blog post when i do nothing .. idk this is for ME. and mayb mikey if u read this. ooh i forgot abt irls but itz fine just ignore pls >_>

sending love

fredz (so tired)