Finding your "other half"...

Hello again, though I never really post anything often, just to give my opinions on stuff… and that’s exactly what I’m doing again. So, if you read this, I’m sorry for the incoherence you might find. Also it’s going to be long

So, we all know what the “other half” is romantically, right? In Spanish we say “media naranja”, though I don't know if I can translate it directly into english. But the other half is self explanatory: you other half is that person you love and with whom you feel complete. Like in those Disney movies, where the protagonist is lonely, sad and hopeless, until her prince in shining armor comes and suddenly everything is solved. Because that person makes you feel complete and happy with yourself and your life, no matter what is going on.

Well, I think that is complete nonsense.

Why do I need to have someone else to make me feel complete? Why do we romanticize the idea of finding someone who can make you love yourself, when in reality we should love ourselves first?

I believe that, to be loved, you have first to love yourself. And yeah, movies show us situations in which the ugly, non-desired girl finds love even when she’s incapable of loving herself, and learns to do so after realizing she CAN be loved. But let’s be honest, you have to be either lucky or extremely attractive for such things to happen to you. Because, who would like to be with someone who’s vibrations are so low? That only makes the person accompanying this saddened person sad themselves, and it’s really draining having to take care of someone the whole time (even if that may sound mean, but let’s be honest- we are not anyone’s therapist).

And besides, the whole soulmate/other half concept is so dumb! You want to be happy, we all want to be happy. But why should we rely on someone else to achieve that feeling? Why can’t we find it for ourselves? Love shouldn’t be a form of escapism or liberation, even when we all, or at least most of us consume different types of media in which love is portrayed as a liberation form (this kind of love also being considered as a pillar motive for narrative writing when it comes to the love category). Love should be something you share to enhance the happiness you already feel. Relationships do bring happiness and a sense of comfort, of course. I myself am a really lonely person, and the first person I ever dated was because I wanted to feel less alone, so I really know where I’m coming from. But they also bring a lot of problems and burdens we do not realize they exist until they come up to you. And if you rely on your partner to be happy, what will happen once hardship comes in the way? It’s all going to fall into pieces.

And most importantly, how can you potentially be able to love someone, when you don’t even love yourself? That’s really unlikely. Loving yourself makes it easier to love someone else, because you don’t need that person’s approval, encouragement or praise to feel good about yourself for once. You’ll only even need them to feel even more confident than you already will feel. People can sense other people vibrations, and if yours is too low, do you think someone will be able to compliment you? To uplift them? If anything, that will only make them drift away.

What I’m trying to say, because I’m really messy when I write stuff and never get to the point, is that you can’t expect to find someone to make you feel complete, but that YOU have to feel complete by yourself to finally find love. Love it’s always 50/50. Sure some things can not be depending on the person, for example some people like spoiling their partner and therefore paying the whole bill on a restaurant date, but that’s not it. If you are happy with who you are, you don’t need someone to complete you. That concept is just stupid, you can’t live life expecting to find someone able to make you feel good about yourself. Learn to love yourself, and then you’ll find someone who can love themselves too. And once this person comes into your life, you won’t complete the other, not be their other half, but their complement, like a pair of socks. A sock by itself can fulfill its purpose. But it's only when there are two socks that its purpose can be fulfilled completely. Don’t waste time and energy trying to find your other half, because what you actually need is someone who will ADD to that happiness you already have, not someone to make you achieve that happiness.

That’s it for my dumb ranting today.

If someone reads it, I hope you understand. Because this is a mess. It’s easier to talk than to write about some things. Or maybe I just hate to plan my writing beforehands. Perhaps both.

And since I left that vibration thing open, I now really want to write about it too, since there’s a lot of people who laugh at this kind of stuff when it’s proven to just be about physics! So, I may come back sometime to write about it.

Byebye.