My Father.

No one will understand the way I feel about my father…the pain of seeing him and hearing his name…the anger I feel when I see him happy after years of neglect from him…yet his two new sons are loved and cherished…I was just someone he wanted to mold into a version of himself and when I didn’t meet those expectations he didn’t want me anymore, the trophy he used to show his friends only to be put back on a shelf and forgotten about again..I was left in the darkness of my own mind, self hatred and fear..he didn’t help me out of it instead he pushed me further into the dark…with no light and no one to help. I fell deeply into the darkness finding peace in her quiet void, calmness in her presence of nothingness…it felt like a dream but I’d wake up to blood on my hands, tears on my face and burning feelings all over my body…because the man who was supposed to protect me, who was supposed to love me and be there for me physically and emotionally…the man who was supposed to be my father.