first entry yay

i was going to post this last week however it is my first year in college and midterm szn is kicking my butt. i wanted to join spacehey and start a blog so that i can talk about my interests and stuff. also customizing profiles by using html seems interesing (idek html, maybe i'll learn). i always wanted to have a corner on the internet where i can post blogs about anything, so here it is. if this goes out to anyone, hello, even though i think you can find something better to read i hope you enjoy your stay here.

so i started college two months ago and so far i really like it here. i thought it would take me so long to get used to here, after all im in a new city with new people and a completely new lifestyle. however i made friends easily and learned how to take care of myself. by "taking care of myself" i mean doing laundry, cleaning my workspace, commuting etc. because most of the time my mom would help me with these. i cant understand how these two months passed by so quickly lol. i kinda miss my friends and family (and my pc and ps4) back in my hometown. anyways, i dont think i have much to say about college life in general.

people and courses, however... first of all just when i thought i'd never have to study math again, calculus hit me like a brick. f**k calculus all my homies hate calculus (too tired to make the meme pls imagine it). anyways thanks to khan academy and the organic chemistry tutor i'll probably pass this class. people on the other hand, they are really nice. i have like 10 friends here which is quite enough ig. unfortunately i also have a crush. we havent talked much but at least he is aware of my existence. my hopeless romantic ahh will think about that one conversation we had for like two months. yea ig thats just the way i am.

lastly since everything is new here, i want to change (or fix) some things about my life. ive been struggling with derealization for quite a while now. so i decided that i'll focus more on my feelings, the things i see and do and try to get out of my head. worst part is when im looking at things, i dont feel i see them. thus i want to live more, go out to evening walks, enjoying the chill breeze, living the moment. also im suffering from anemia and it affects my daily life a lot, so i promised myself that i'd be more careful to take my pills. i feel like worst part about this type of disorders is how they make me look like (a living dead). or maybe thats because im geniunely ugly or smth. im getting out of the topic and i dont like where this is going :D

anyways, this is all for now. i wish for everyone's safety and health. pls take care.

here is a song i really like