I think somethings wrong with me

Cw: stupid rant and kinda venting? Idk

I hate my brain sometimes. I hate that I feel so passionate about something nobody would bat an eye to.

To give context, I've been feeling strange. Actually, I've been feeling strange for a while. It's about this character. I'm not going to name them, bc I don't want to be known as the person that literally gets pissy if you just draw them, but anyways here's what's going on. Over the past few months, I've felt so attached to this character that I literally get mad to the point where it ruins my day if anyone else even suggests liking them more than me. I don't know why, I just can't help it. I'm so obsessed with them. Literally writing this post because someone drew them in a ship I don't like, and I feel like ripping my hair out about it. The strange thing is, I don't know why I feel this strongly? Idk maybe it's just bc I relate to this character on, like, a spiritual level and that's why it bothers me so much? I hate this. Don't get me wrong, I love this character so much and wouldn't trade them for anything, but I just get so overly defensive. I get so mad and I just don't understand why. It ruins my day because I get so upset over it. I've been suspecting I'm neurodivergent in some way (I'm not diagnosed with anything) so maybe that's why? Am I hyperfixated, or something? Or am I just insane idk. Worst part is that this character is from a very small fandom, so I crave more content, but literally can't take it when I see something I don't like. Btw just letting everyone know, I have never and will never attack somebody regarding this. I just see it and get upset I never harass any creators, as that would be a terrible look for the character as well. Am I obsessed? Idk man idk