A look back

As times have increasingly become about rapid media consumption, trends,and modernism, I reminisce about my younger self, a self where discovery and experience were at it's infancy. A time of pleasant memories, but also a not so pleasant memories. Memories where I look back on with disappointment, regrets,and spite. Thought not for the reasons one may blatantly assume. You see, my person has sought to achieve the title of ultimate loser. A "degenerate" some may refer it as. My previous blog outlined the basis of my philosophy. Since that post, I have revised some aspects of that philosophy. The general idea, the base, remains unaltered. Though, I realize now that the post is, for the most part, outdated due to personal details that do not correlate into philosophy. I plan on a more in depth analysis of my person because of the many flaws presented in that post, as well as a revision and future aspirations. For now, we more onward to the main subject of this post, a look back.

Recently I have been reintroduced to my young self through a certain film that had released October 27, 2023. This series and I go back to my early schooling days in 2014, where the initial game began. Times for me were simple. School at 07:00, home by 15:00. I would get settled, eat dinner my mom had prepared and watch YouTube on her flip phone. Dinner had, I'd quickly rush upstairs to begin my hours long game session on my Wii Mini. We didn't have internet access back then. I knew it existed but had no way of access other than my mother's personal cellular device. I had browsed the web a small amount, enough to familiarize myself with the basics. The phone was slow, but manageable.

Many consider middle school to be their worst particular year, though for me the opposite can be stated. I cherish those cringe experiences. They taught me what not to be, allowed me to perfect my person, become the best type of loser. The type of loser who is not necessarily repulsive. Rather, one that has a critical, often pessimistic view of the world and it's inhabitants. Often times, these individuals are avoided with the common reason "why should I be around someone who doesn't want to better themselves".

High school. This is where I began to develop who I am now. Freshman, and even Sophomore to an extent I regard as still experimental years. I had much to learn before I had optimized my person. Junior and Senior were where I am today just with more knowledge and hatred for people. Having to type that had my my fist cruel with pure spite. Hate has been stripped of it's definition entirely. But I assure you when I say hate, I mean it. Family included.

My most fond memories are those from my experience phase. Had it not been for those experiences, I wouldn't be the husk I am today. Not in the image I am now, at least.

One may ponder the question, "Watcha, why write this nothing burger of a post," in which I answer because I can. I don't have any sort of outlet; I don't deem it necessary. But I resort to writing to release a small percentage of pent up frustration. Even if small, insignificant, and ultimately worthless emotions to store, it's a human flaw we all possess.