Baby Fever???

*I'm putting this under Dreams and the Supernatural, as this was a dream I experience last night. Perhaps others have had similar dreams and feelings about said dream*

I am not ready to have kids at this point in my life. I have a bf of only 2 years, I'm in college, we aren't financially stable enough, and I'm not mentally stable enough I don't think. I'm only 23. I still want to live my life however I please, with no child to interfere. In fact, I used to not want children at all. However, I got a job in childcare over a year ago and It made me realize I think I could be a good mother. Somewhere in the distant future, that is. 

If I have a kid, I want to be able to be a stay at home mom and homeschooling them. We aren't able to financially do that at this time. 

So, tell me why I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and had a baby. It was one of those "ghost pregnancies". Where I didn't even realize I was pregnant until POOF out came a baby boy. In the dream, I was upset at first because I'd like a baby girl. But I came to terms with him and even loved him. I considered naming him Jack since he was born in fall. Short for Jack-o-lantern (a Parks and Rec refrence) and a call out to Jack from a Nightmare Before Christmas. 

Now, I know dreams are just dreams. My brain makes me dream up some pretty weird things, as brains do. What got me was waking up. Upon waking up, I think I had a very brief feeling of...well idk, emptiness perhaps? A sad, lonely feeling. My baby boy, baby Jack, wasn't here. He was never real. I wasn't pregnant, I didn't give birth on my living room couch unexpectedly, I didn't hold a baby boy that I wanted to name Jack. 

As someone who isn't ready for a child at all, not in the slightest bit, you think I would have been relieved upon waking up and realizing it was all a dream. However, I wasn't met with relief. I was left with some empty, maternal feeling.